Miscellaneous: Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door,... - FML

By Masey - 17/09/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 395

You deserved it 7 514

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Same thing different taste

By JulieKid - 04/05/2009 17:19 - United States

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 527

You deserved it 7 802

The Brian Harvey

By Yougotmail - 17/07/2022 06:00

Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 655

Never flip flop and drive

By Alyce - 09/10/2020 08:10 - United States - Lewistown

Today, I was supposed to deliver my S/O's keys to the garage, where he got his car fixed after a minor accident. I pulled out of my alley, only to have my flip flop catch on my accelerator, causing me to hit another car passing by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 1 562

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 434

You deserved it 2 981

Karma?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 17:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the day after I bragged about never having a car accident in my life, I mistakenly put my car into Drive instead of Reverse and crashed into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 08:58 - Belgium

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 084

You deserved it 6 036

By chevysprint - 28/02/2010 05:36 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 414

You deserved it 33 387

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 401

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 14:00

Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 380

By a non e mouse - 10/11/2015 22:34 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 950

You deserved it 8 174

Next

Top comments

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:03

That's a good trick. Really. That's like tripping over your feet and landing on your boss's exposed penis.

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:22

Maybe I should consider using that as an excuse more often. "I'm sorry, I fell on your wallet in such a way that it landed in my pocket."

Comments

youreawhore 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:30

Look on the bright side: You could have face-planted into your car, which would have been equally, if not more, hilarious. Unless of course you did face-plant...

Pointy130 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:32

As smooth as the chunkiest of peanut butters.

woah102 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:41

your car is that close to your porch?

assixlem 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 21:01

Question: How close is your car to your porch for you to fall and hit it?

kittyprincess319 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 21:09

Wow you men out there. My female friends are safer drivers than most guys I know. The OP should only get a "YDI" for being so late to work.

premiermois 5

Thursday 17 September 2009 21:43

SarcasticUnicorn 9

Sunday 19 August 2012 9:20

22- I love the content of your post.

waterynuggets 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 21:28

I could just imagine looking out my window in the morning and seeing you fall, then ROFL'ing Sorry homie

jessxoxo28 5

Thursday 17 September 2009 21:41

LMAO! #19

yeAyeAno 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 21:36

Dude, learn how to walk.

cr4ckb0n3f4n 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 21:48

this one should be illustrated

hahahaloser 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 22:22

looks like you killed like 3 birds with one stone. Your own stupididty. but seriously did you like park your car in your front lawn or something how did you trip off the porch into the car?

idratherbewrestl 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 22:25

watch your step!

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The Top

Today, my grandpa told me that he and grandma had an open relationship, because, "it isn't satisfying to have sexuality with only one person your whole life.” According to grandma, he just cheated on her constantly and she couldn’t do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 149

Today, I had my first gig with my new band. I was concentrating on my guitar during the second song when I tripped over the singer's microphone cable, hit my head on the bass drum, and blacked out. When I came to, people were applauding, apparently thinking it was part of the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 106

The Top

Today, I finally got my forklift license after training for a week. Almost eight hours later, I lost my license by not lowering my forks, crashing into and destroying four overhead light fixtures which cost more than $500 in damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 3 003

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 871

You deserved it 4 614

Today, I'm supposed to hand in my Master's thesis. I only very vaguely remember my enthusiasm of six months ago, but remember clearly that - this time - I was planning to start in time and avoid last-minute stress. Seeing the sun come up at 5 a.m. tells me that it was a tad too optimistic. Just ten more hours to go… FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 1 057

Today, the blinker on my car was broken so I decided to play it safe and drive a different car to work. I guess it wouldn’t have mattered which car I drove, as the cop nicely told me one of the headlights was out when he pulled me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 010

You deserved it 400

Today, I found out I've been adulting too long when I noticed that the bags at Smart & Final are shorter than the last time I was here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 161

Today, my dad found his old harmonica. It’s been five hours and he shows no signs of stopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 143