Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML
Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML
Today, I was supposed to deliver my S/O's keys to the garage, where he got his car fixed after a minor accident. I pulled out of my alley, only to have my flip flop catch on my accelerator, causing me to hit another car passing by. FML
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
Today, the day after I bragged about never having a car accident in my life, I mistakenly put my car into Drive instead of Reverse and crashed into my own house. FML
Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML
Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML
Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
That's a good trick. Really. That's like tripping over your feet and landing on your boss's exposed penis.
Intoxicunt 6
Maybe I should consider using that as an excuse more often. "I'm sorry, I fell on your wallet in such a way that it landed in my pocket."
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Comments (51)
L0ts0b0ts 14
one to e my twin (we were like 7) keyed my moms van with a rock by putting stars on i.t. I didn't know how to draw stars at the time so of was obvious who did it