Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML
Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML
Today, I was supposed to deliver my S/O's keys to the garage, where he got his car fixed after a minor accident. I pulled out of my alley, only to have my flip flop catch on my accelerator, causing me to hit another car passing by. FML
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
Today, the day after I bragged about never having a car accident in my life, I mistakenly put my car into Drive instead of Reverse and crashed into my own house. FML
Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML
Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML
Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
That's a good trick. Really. That's like tripping over your feet and landing on your boss's exposed penis.
Intoxicunt 6
Maybe I should consider using that as an excuse more often. "I'm sorry, I fell on your wallet in such a way that it landed in my pocket."
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Comments (51)
iheartpink 0
what the hell is wrong with people now????wow your a ******* retard how the hell does that happen??!!!FYL
Mata_Hari 0
Not only how close is your car to your porch, but how could you do that really? I mean, I can't imagine how you fell in such a way that you keyed it? Was your arm outstretched? Sorry if this is a stupid comment, I've never keyed a car before so I wouldn't get the exact art/dynamics/whatever.
jhommie9696 0
and he shal be called CAPTAIN FAIL BUCKET!!! Bucket... bucket...
greent_fml 0
YDI for driving a car.
uhoh1717 1
YDI Vandal jk that sucks
ladiesman14 0
good thing you werent chewing gum too. you would have choked and died.
caperi 0
Clearly he didn't know it was his; he's not being ungrateful if nobody has given or shown the intention of giving him something. My guess is that he assumed the car was parjed there by a random stranger seeing as he's never seen it before. then he called it a "piece of shit" because it has no business sitting on their driveway.
kaylapple 1
you must be clumsy!
keebler123 2
fake
byron17 26
how the hell does she deserve it for driving a car????? That sucks dude...