Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML
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Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. My wife came in and thought I was jerking him off. She wouldn't believe my explanation. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
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Top comments
greenfairy_fml 0
you should have said "at least someone can get it up"
Yunie_fml 0
Nice guy. Been together long?
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Comments (88)
neonoodle 0
Anyone who's telling you to dump him is a humorless idiot.
commonsense31 0
I agree with 32 I say stuff all the time I don't really mean so don't fyl just give him some and see what if he says the same after he's gotten some attention
claritin 0
Either every single girl on this website is dating a giant asshole, or no one can take a joke these days.
OuttaMind 0
Please tell me he was kidding.
DiSab 0
@24 - So I take it you're from West Virginia, right?
Alicia_Raven7 0
hey!? got a problem with West Virginia!?
jdpwnsyou 0
Get a sense of humor.
nanii_fml 0
I always feel awkward rubbing a dog's stomach, because I read that it is actually sexually stimulating to them. Most people don't know that. Anyway, depending on the way your boyfriend said it, I'm sure he just meant to be funny. Unless he sounded grumpy.
Xaos 0
@#38: Actually, I only got into the habit of rubbing the stomach after I learned that. ;) JK
Matsim 0
Maybe you should help out your boyfriend some more?
nodbor 11
i've heard that joke before