Transportation: Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit...

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 431

You deserved it 49 757

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Same thing different taste

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 582

You deserved it 4 645

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 964

You deserved it 2 657

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 011

You deserved it 9 950

Thorn in my side

By CantPublish - 15/01/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 080

You deserved it 4 993

By roundemup - 11/02/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 668

You deserved it 5 212

By pain - 01/11/2011 14:52 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 173

You deserved it 39 861

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 21:02 - Bulgaria - Batanovci

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 427

You deserved it 51 083

By man-period? - 02/03/2016 06:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 429

You deserved it 1 626

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 591

You deserved it 876

Alexa, play "Fast Cars" by Buzzcocks

By Sparky - 20/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 216

wordly 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:12

Ouch! Bad scene. YDI a little bit for not seeing that coming when you rode without a seat.

paks7 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:14

umm....use a seat cover?? why the hell would you ride a bike without a seat?

Comments

Dilosaurous_Rex 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:25

WOW DUDE! Seriously, the part about no male doctors is a plus. I mean, come on dude... whenever I have to go get a physical I pray to god as hard as I can that I get a hot women doctor. I just don't understand who would rather have their balls handled by a dude than a chick?

Dragodon64 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 9:14

Look I'm all for nurse fetishes and all that... but when your BALLS need STITCHES, who gives a **** about hot stuff?! I would normally have prefered a male doctor as well, but at that point I really wouldn't care.

Lulu714 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 6:01

22: You're SUPER hot! In case you were wondering :P

sasha_is_my_name 5

Sunday 29 January 2012 8:54

Totally agree with thy statement ;D lolz

FMPain 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:35

I think he means that since there were no male doctors, the women doctors didn't fix his scrotum right since scrotums are parts of a MALE's body.

blankslate 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:48

I really don't think it would matter either way- male doctor or not. I'm pretty sure they would know what they're doing. Also, wouldn't it technically be the nurses that would have to stitch him up? I think so.

happylittleman 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:36

Wow, FMPain, you're a dumbass.

whatacoolkid 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:36

hahahah you must have been a HAPPY fella.....

emmersx 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:36

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

junkinmahcranium 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:41

YDI for being so big of an idiot that you rode without a seat cover! Why would that ever sound like a GOOD idea?! I can imagine riding without a helmet or good brakes, but a SEAT COVER? Jeezus. And you're a GUY, so that makes it worse. Fool. Oh, and why would you go over a curb if you had no seat cover? You're ridiculously dim-witted.

aybaileigh 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:41

Why would you ride it...without the seat cover?

SookMauNoots 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:42

why would you want a male doctor

guidebot 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:42

You get your ball sack ripped open and you're worried about getting a boner in the ER? YDI

LolCows 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:47

Wow all negative comments? hahaha that sucks dude

yojoeletsmakeout 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:47

what the hell? why has EVERY comment been "buried" because of the negative votes? how ridiculous. anyway, i cringed at this, and i'm not even a guy. FYL. hope you get better soon.