Miscellaneous Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she...

Numbnuts - 08/03/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
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Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

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MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

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civicman - 27/09/2009 02:19 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

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Anonymous - 07/11/2014 08:03 - Australia

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

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Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

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-_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

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anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

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Right in the snowglobes

Anonymous - 29/09/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Tilehurst

Today, my sister kicked me in the balls just before I went into the bathroom, as she wanted to use the shower first. Later, when I came out of the bathroom, she kneed me this time in the same spot because apparently I always make a mess in the bathroom. FML

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badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

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No touching!

Noname - 27/01/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

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Daerauko 0

Monday 8 March 2010 9:11

good, stop irritating people

Firate 3

Monday 8 March 2010 9:12

If you're that bored, how about helping your mom with the dishes instead of being an ass?

fuzz97 23

Monday 8 March 2010 22:55

ur mum is awesome

Aert1ok995 0

Monday 8 March 2010 23:07

snickerdoodles, you're annoying.

st0n333d 0

Monday 8 March 2010 23:12

Mom knows who wins at roshambo

degco44 0

Monday 8 March 2010 23:38

He LEARNED that he should never bug her. He didn't say he never bugs her. Keep up with us, now.

NoteMyGrin 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 0:23

God, poking someone and saying 'poke' is one of the most obnoxious things ever. Your mom freaking rocks.

RKftw 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 0:36

PWND

musicismything 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 1:29

Best. Mom. Ever.

thisismitch 3

Tuesday 9 March 2010 1:35

snickersnob, you are a snooty trolling bitch. every fml you have some dumbass remark. you should write an fml: today, i was too busy on here being a bitch to actually have a life. FML