Kids: Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting...

By Anonymous - 16/04/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 141

You deserved it 11 241

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Same thing different taste

By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 607

You deserved it 841

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 167

You deserved it 3 235

By KPKallery - 05/06/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 792

You deserved it 11 744

By AnHoneyMouse - 12/05/2017 02:00

Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 114

You deserved it 1 401

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 997

You deserved it 70 931

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 709

You deserved it 7 575

By whattabrat - 26/02/2012 05:16 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 071

You deserved it 3 296

By peestain - 25/10/2010 10:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 664

You deserved it 32 119

Little shit

By moneyman22 - 01/03/2010 19:09 - United States

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 469

You deserved it 3 963

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 07:26

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 154

You deserved it 9 101

enonymous 8

Sunday 17 April 2011 9:28

Now that he has the taste for flesh. He will come back and finish you off this time with some A1 sauce and some Jamaican jerk sauce for variety

hollylollyxoxo 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 9:18

LOL I didn't know angry bears bit asses :P

Comments

HomeAl0ne 20

Sunday 17 April 2011 23:08

And that's when the parents walked in your Honour.....

monkeywrench1 10

Monday 18 April 2011 7:12

^ haha! win! ^

SchwizerMan 2

Sunday 17 April 2011 23:38

rofl. fyl seriously. at least it wasnt a bite to the sack

decomposerix 0

Monday 18 April 2011 4:13

Imagine if he raped you

posse22 0

Monday 18 April 2011 4:22

time out for him!

weird_little_kid 0

Monday 18 April 2011 4:55

why is your ass square?

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Monday 18 April 2011 14:24

YDI, Pedobear.

snoopy_156 1

Friday 22 April 2011 16:51

kill it

yellowduck97 4

Sunday 8 May 2011 17:12

boohooo!! IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, GET OVER IT! he's a three year old for crying out loud!!!!!!

zebradude 0

Monday 27 June 2011 3:17

kinky

Iheardthat 7

Monday 25 July 2011 14:21

Ahh I feel your pain. I too have been bit square on the ass by a little kid

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 784

You deserved it 16 305

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

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You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 148

You deserved it 23 598

So speed. Much fast. Wow.

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 77

Today, I went with the kids I work with to a roller rink, where there are tons of black lights. Under the glow, I realized in horror that an old semen stain could be seen on my shorts. Praying no one saw, or realized what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 688

You deserved it 3 560

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 670

You deserved it 5 763

Today, I'm quit my job after finding out that there were multiple confirmed cases of Covid-19. It wouldn't be a big deal, if I didn't find out that people aren't following safe distancing, checking their body heat, walking about without face masks, and leaving the entire site dirty as fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 307

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 149

You deserved it 95 252

Same thing different taste

Straight to jail

Little shit

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