Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, at around 12 a.m. I went to bed, happy that I get to sleep in because I had nowhere be in the morning. Sadly that came to an end when I woke up around 7 a.m. to my mom coming home and screaming because she saw a mouse. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML
Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
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Top comments
xoxoemmers 4
Rodents do know best
lovelydarlings 6
Guinea pigs need sleep too!
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Comments (341)
Dcm210 19
turn off the light and play or put him ina dark room
perdix 31
Guinea pigs are power mad. First, you let them tell you when to go to bed and what to eat. Soon, they are telling you whom to kill. They're pretty paranoid and homicidal.
darkmis1 18
Hamsters are like guiana pigs, and I had hamsters when I was younger and the male ****** the female to death. Literally. She left about 50 babies.
Cindybooh 0
You make my day as always :3
FrostHeart 36
Wouldn't that be considered a ham-rape?
brittney4598 0
Get a life?
WCARlover 35
Yeah just cause someone plays video games means they don't have a life? I'm sure you're on FML right now cause you have such a life huh?
Ravenclaw2016 6
So original #11 -.-
ChrisTheCalm 9
I'm gonna guess that since he actually wrote this, and he was breathing while doing so, he does have a life. And I bet his is way more interesting than yours. You fail at trolling.
Kyle357_fml 2
I agree with #11 if their playing video games at 2 in the morning and then gets 'squealed' at by a rodent they should really get a life and get 'squealed' at for having sex at 2 in the morning not playing call of duty. Just saying
luki13 0
"your a moron." Well let's hope for the morons sake that he at least knows the difference between your and you're.
white16sox 19
Get a brain? If it is 2 o'clock in the morning, what is OP supposed to be doing, partying? Sure, he can sleep, but what if OP had just gotten off of work and wanted to play some video games for a bit before going to bed.
Llama_Face89 34
Gotta love little highschool children and their stereotypes, eh?
CatEyes66 0
I'm married, has a kid, has a job, cooks, cleans, but I play video games like nobodies business. Does this mean I have no life? I do play atleast once a day, mostly at night and sometimes up to 5 hour. I'm also a 22 year old insomniac.
lakebitch01 0
That's kinda cute...!
uridea 14
You could have just put a towel over his cage.
SkyLover 0
Or he could have put his pet in a different room. :-p
birdfreak 24
Charlie Charlie the drunk guinea pig! :) wow I think you're crazy. Couldn't you like put a sheet over the cage?
ihasbrains 10
OP probably does live with his mother.
icic6772 0
That was so startling.
j_cat187 20
Ahhhhhh!!!! Aw man I was so startled.
twofirstnames 12
Next he's going to tell you who you can or can't hang out with :)
11grace18 5
get your guinea pig to play with you
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
CHARLIE! CHARLIE! The drunk guinea pig!
13FTW 9
Oh really? I was up till 2 last night playing black ops. I race cars for a living, used to be defensive captain of the football team, and am in school with straight A's. Yeah, all gamers have no lives. **** you stereotypers.