Animals: Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when...

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 231

You deserved it 23 779

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Same thing different taste

Dinner time

By JJ84 - 31/07/2024 12:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 104

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 896

You deserved it 4 041

Sobering

By TheLivingDeadTree - 19/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 106

Is gift

By catlady - 25/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 737

You deserved it 2 457

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 3 359

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 1 698

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 636

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 11:40 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 734

You deserved it 5 813

By Fran - 09/01/2010 08:40 - New Zealand

Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 519

You deserved it 3 372

By Noname - 30/01/2009 18:18 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 809

You deserved it 3 097

jlowder2 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:13

just remember...the mouse is more scared of you than you are of him....actually, in this case I dont think that is correct.

eean 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:25

If it was a mouse..... then yike. Don't be ashamed of yelping if your holding a mouse by its tail accidentally. It could give you rabies or something.

Comments

barfgirl 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:09

bahaha too funny!!!!

beepelati 5

Friday 25 June 2010 19:29

don't worry OP, mice are pretty scary to everyone. 

jlowder2 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:13

just remember...the mouse is more scared of you than you are of him....actually, in this case I dont think that is correct.

rawrlily 0

Wednesday 16 June 2010 22:11

fail

itschris 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:14

what is it with you people and rats wth if you live in a bad neighborhood like paterson youd have to get used to it wth

xXxIracebethxXx 14

Wednesday 18 April 2012 8:44

Proper grammar is your friend.

eean 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:25

If it was a mouse..... then yike. Don't be ashamed of yelping if your holding a mouse by its tail accidentally. It could give you rabies or something.

Spac3Ghost 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:43

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fail man =) this should be a FML for your wife!!!! shaaaaame

whataloadofbull 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:47

ew you puss wuss

Segun24 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:50

This should be a MLIA, not a FML xD

24788 6

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:56

At least your cats were there to protect you.

Str8Black 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 17:23

Lamar loser

perdix 29

Tuesday 12 January 2010 17:40

I'd call you a pussy, but then I remembered that ******* stalk, kill and devour mice. But now that your wife woke up, maybe you should play with the pussy that is appropriate for a 26-year-old man ;)