Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
You what?
Today, I went with my wife to her work picnic. Some guy I don't know slapped her on the butt. I was ready to deck the creep, but my wife giggled and said, "Oh relax, it doesn't mean a thing. He does that all the time." FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Assumptions
Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML
Top comments
I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5
Punch him back. harder. then say "Don't punch me in the face like that"
MrsUresti 8
Omg!!! I hope your ok OP!!! Wth is going on with people nowadays geez!!!!
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Comments (119)
choshaki 8
The dude seriously had some issues. FYL and I feel bad for you. Hopefully it wasn't that hard.
richieflow 3
That ***** funny
Justforlolz 14
Can we have a divine mod intervention pl0x?
TheFamilyElf 17
Tell him you were nodding at him, wink, then get off the train.
AJRENO 0
Didnt he see your god damn headphones?
JayJavaMonsterr 10
LOL Head-bobbing is dangerous! You should have told him you were nodding at him ;)
ImGonnaDieAlone 5
damn, all that seductive head nodding must have been too much for him... FYL
footballover 5
This is why parents worry about what kind of music we listen to. I'm sure if you had classical music on your day would've been great and punch free ;) not really that sucks
TheDrudgeChild 4
You can't bob your head to classical? Where is the logic in this?
footballover 5
No head bobbing= no punching. Therefore his day= punch free as I stated in the comment before. That's the logic
BeBeast2323 1
Just tap your foot or close your eyes.
thisiscat 14
Pretend your blind. He would feel like an asshole
starwind3438 9
He would have to have came or service dog for that to work.