Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I went with my wife to her work picnic. Some guy I don't know slapped her on the butt. I was ready to deck the creep, but my wife giggled and said, "Oh relax, it doesn't mean a thing. He does that all the time." FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML
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Top comments
I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5
Punch him back. harder. then say "Don't punch me in the face like that"
MrsUresti 8
Omg!!! I hope your ok OP!!! Wth is going on with people nowadays geez!!!!
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Comments (119)
perdix 31
You should have sung along loudly to let everyone know that your nodding was not meant to communicate with anyone. Doesn't anyone know subway etiquette anymore?
fallingapart777 7
Haha! But maybe he would think that he was singing to his wife?
darwinism 30
Sweat by Snoop Dogg could go well with this FML. I can just see OP bobbing his head and singing loudly "I just want to make you sweat" all the while looking at the guys wife.
perdix 31
#19, yes, there is a danger of that, but this is why the savvy passenger chooses a subway-safe playlist to avoid such problems. Songs with the N-word in it should be avoided, for example. So should songs outside your vocal range.
ThatGuyRory 9
I think OP may have got punched either way. I had a friend who attempted to sing Dubstep. It didn't go well, as you can imagine.
notsorandomguy 18
Beat him to the punch.
AnthonyN 5
Hooray. Now your life is complete.
Blue_berry_594 0
Did you have shades on? Shades are sketchy.
IsMyWenieHard 0
Bahahahaha yea that truly are lol cuz no one can see me staring at their ******* lol
burtonbullet 10
So basically 48, what you're saying is "yes they are sketchy, which is exactly why I wear them"?
Snafuusmc 12
I guess you just wanted to be a macho man and couldn't beat it?
goodgood_fml 5
Because no one wants to be defeated...
mfjkr 10
The fear of a combo breaker has us all heated.
VoteForTaco 8
Did you say cookie? I WANT IT NOW!!! :)
reenkaur 7
totally a 'wtf situation' poor you! :|
HateLife66 0
You should've said " I was nodding at you (; "
zander4310 5
Beat his ass
tennisrapper1 14
As innocent as it is, and 90% of people know it is, many people take it the wrong way, as if its just an action to draw negative attention. FYL OP, but it's better not to draw as much attention because there are dumbasses and psychos out there.