Today, I was on Facebook looking at pictures of my boyfriend,... - FML

By pissed - 4/5/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, I was on Facebook looking at pictures of my boyfriend, who was in his friend's wedding this past weekend. He said that none of the girlfriends could come because it would cost too much for the couple. I spent the weekend alone, and all his friend's girlfriends are in the pictures. FML

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Superficial World

Or he's just becoming an old goober

You snooze, you lose

By allykat - 3/12/2014 00:56 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

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By uncleaning - 22/7/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

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By AgentRarity - 18/6/2014 16:48

Today, I was reading butthurt comments about how girl gamers can easily get dates and find love by simply existing. I'm a "girl gamer" who hasn't even found a date, let alone love. I've been looking since I was sixteen. I'm now 27. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/2/2015 21:26 - United States - Moorpark

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

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By DaChief - 31/5/2016 03:17 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/8/2014 16:56 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

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By Can't Win - 9/9/2012 15:01 - United States - Palatine

Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML

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By filipkm - 6/5/2016 14:37 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I heard on television that a body was found in my city's water reservoir. Word is that it was dead for over a week. I've been drinking and showering with that water. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/11/2014 06:30 - United States - River Falls

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

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By idiot says pussy - 21/1/2014 17:43 - United States

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

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By Sniffles - 26/4/2014 12:28 - Ireland

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

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By iMarriedmymother - 7/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

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By I'm just sick, really - 2/5/2015 00:33 - United States - Springfield

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

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By :/ - 12/3/2016 11:36 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, I talked to my high school sweetheart after 12 years. He confessed that he's been single ever since we broke up, never got over me, and that to this day he loves me dearly. I'm a married mother of two. FML

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By mvgirl - 22/10/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML

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By anonymous - 23/1/2016 01:56 - United States - Indiana

Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

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By Joey - 26/8/2018 13:00

Today, I stepped outside my house for the first time in a year, trying to socialize again. I broke my leg. FML

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By Heavybreather - 13/2/2017 12:00 - United States - Athens

Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML

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By Jigll - 13/10/2008 08:26

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

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By bodhimae - 3/5/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

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By akward - 4/9/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/10/2010 04:44 - Canada

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

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By chee - 11/2/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

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By JenniWearsPrada - 20/4/2011 08:27

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

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By life// - 8/1/2013 23:56 - Canada - Fort Mcmurray

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

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By Ismellbacon - 29/2/2012 06:29 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML

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By sayno2mermaids - 4/8/2016 02:08 - United States - Denver

Today, I set my beer on the windowsill while I made space for it on the table. Suddenly, the wind knocked the window open. Into my beer. Into a box of expensive electronics. It was the last beer. FML

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By Kid Lacef - 31/10/2018 15:30

Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/10/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me it wasn't working out and he was breaking up with me. The reason? I have the same first and last name as a very unpopular girl, and he gets embarrassed when people mistakenly assume he's going out with her. FML

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By LondonKitsch - 26/6/2009 16:51 - United States

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

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By thedd - 18/8/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

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By newmother - 5/12/2010 13:38 - Australia

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

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By secret123 - 24/2/2009 11:01 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML

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By mellbelle32 - 11/7/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, my visiting cousin was driving me to pick-up and pay for my wedding cake at the bakery. The cops pulled him over for speeding and as it turns out his license was expired. I ended up having to use my wedding cake money to bail him out of jail. FML

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By NoRunning - 17/6/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, I was at the water park, when I slipped and fell to the ground in front of the no running sign. I was walking. FML

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By krisest1988 - 7/5/2016 21:34 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I need to move. FML

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By fakelaugher - 20/12/2010 03:41 - United States

Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/9/2019 16:01

Checked out

Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML

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By andrie09 - 7/7/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, my mom told me I was a bad daughter because I didn't get anything for my parents' anniversary. I just sent my brother a check for $400 for my share of their gift. FML

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By Kali - 13/10/2019 04:00

Say it ain't so, please

Today, I went to go meet my boyfriend at a restaurant to tell him it just wasn't working out. Before I could do so, he proposed. I had to tell him no, so he started to cry and ran out. Everyone looked at me like some kind of monster. FML

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Top comments

By Contra | 0

#167379 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:06

Well, that's a bit of a dick.

By Cooper0526 | 0

#167403 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:18

wow, number 5, she should do that if she's like 12.

Comments

By Contra | 0

#167379 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:06

Well, that's a bit of a dick.

Reply

ronton | 4

#1044836 - Saturday 26 June 2010 14:50

u should get friends so ur not alone...

Reply

MnBran6 | 0

#1428844 - Monday 20 September 2010 3:04

1 - is op's boyfriend a dick, or is she annoyingly clingy?

By KwitIt | 0

#167392 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:13

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

jessiewessie | 0

#1040851 - Thursday 24 June 2010 6:42

guy time?? are you fucken dumb?? he obviously wasn't having any "guy time" if all the other gfs were there and in all the pics

this must happen to you alot and that's why you're trying to justify it

Reply

XxgreymoonxX | 8

#4744597 - Saturday 28 July 2012 16:53

Woah don't have to be a bitch out of nowhere

By NoBounceNoPlay | 0

#167398 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:15

Who goes to a wedding alone…? I mean, I guess shit happens, but… still kinda weird.

By Emmett_Luver_101 | 0

#167399 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:16

how meeeeean :( im sorry. when he comes home you should tell him you have a vacation to go on and ugly guys arent allowed
hey its mean but it might teach him his lessson

Reply

LunaaBluee | 27

#6279244 - Saturday 2 May 2015 3:31

Or umm I don't know dump him instead ? Sounds cheaper to me.

By onigiriqueen | 0

#167401 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:18

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

teentee401 | 36

#6046527 - Sunday 24 August 2014 15:42

Yeah...that's kinda what makes it an FML.

By Cooper0526 | 0

#167403 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:18

wow, number 5, she should do that if she's like 12.

By jessjessjess_fml | 0

#167408 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:24

dump him!

By ForestFire0 | 1

#167409 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:24

#3, #2 can be a dick if he wants to. also, it's weird to date someone who doesn't like you

By i_imagine | 0

#167412 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:24

What an ass.

By judgeymcjudge | 0

#167421 - Monday 4 May 2009 13:29

Er, call me simplistic, but why don't you just *ask him about it*? It could have been for many reasons. Before you feel too insulted and start hating on him a little, find out why. If it's a shitty reason, THEN hate on him :P
It's still totally an FML though.