Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML
Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML
Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML
Today, I flew into Denver. Never having been here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML
Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
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Top comments
gfindians11 0
why was it even a struggle?
blackdude_fml 0
Hey its ok to ********** on a plane. never let that opportunity pass you by.
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Comments (84)
dramagal16 0
Does it really take 40 minutes to get from Chicago to Minneapolis by plane?
andy_fml_fml 0
"now that's hawt" paris hilton pg.4089372987 :) if i was the girl i would've been like oh hello sexy beast :D
ropeandneck 7
kwack
teamhat 0
i agree with #2
thatoneguy1812 0
@ #2... maybe he was "distracted."
Baby_girl04 0
handjob!
shehzeenahmed 0
Have you ever popped champagne on a plane while gettin' some brain Whipped it out she said I never seen Snakes On A Plane --Good Life - Kanye West
Baby_girl04 0
handjob
free_Aus 0
So did you fap?
SpunkT 0
#42, he didn't say that it took 40 minutes to get there, this just happened 40 minutes into the flight. Meaning he probably had to sit next to her until they got there.
onetuffbitch 0
Hmm...Ladies and Gentlemen...Welcome aboard your flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. Please make sure that all carry on items are stowed either in an overhead compartment or completely in your pants? The Captain has just turned off the unzip your pants sign and your penis may walk freely through the cabin... Flight attendants will start serving drinks and nuts ;-) shortly. They should amend these for you!