Transportation: Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but...

By justin Bieber - 15/06/2015 14:49 - United States - Westland

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 187

You deserved it 5 498

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Same thing different taste

Good boy

By PrinceOfBritain - 14/05/2015 02:41 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I was walking my dog through a park with a lake. My dog was swimming in said lake, and then appeared to be having trouble keeping his head up. I put my phone and keys on the ground and waded to my dog. He was fine, but I turned around in time to see someone run off with my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 460

You deserved it 3 523

By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 1 520

By adad - 01/02/2010 14:34 - France

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 814

You deserved it 38 028

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 00:54 - United States

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 780

You deserved it 3 126

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 654

You deserved it 295

By fEk - 22/03/2019 09:00 - Australia

Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 323

Thanks, Dave

By Anonymous - 23/11/2019 14:00

Today, I opened the door to a delivery girl with a towel around my waist as I was just out of the shower. My dog was going crazy at the courier, and when she handed me the touchpad to sign for the package, my dog decided it would be a good idea to pull my towel off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 266

You deserved it 1 141

By DOGSNACHER - 29/12/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 372

You deserved it 2 535

Top of the mornin' to ya!

By Anonymous Taco Man - 03/08/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 98

By GotMyBitchBack - 05/09/2013 11:02 - United States - Zanesville

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 513

You deserved it 3 041

dweeds508 24

Monday 15 June 2015 18:47

Holy shit, was it ok???

Pike313 14

Monday 15 June 2015 18:47

Sounds like a ruff situation

Comments

bxjxj 20

Tuesday 16 June 2015 1:47

Did he become a seal? Those are the dogs of the sea

smalldude7980 7

Tuesday 16 June 2015 1:52

How the hell does your dog look like a towel!

PePziNL 20

Tuesday 16 June 2015 2:00

I guess you didn't sea that coming OP. Water the chances of something like this happening?

thatsme293 28

Tuesday 16 June 2015 2:41

I thought Justin Beiber had a pet monkey

JKPwnage 27

Tuesday 16 June 2015 2:57

"fricken"

daniellekimberly 23

Tuesday 16 June 2015 3:57

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry OP. Fyl and I really hope your dog is okay

DeadHorseman 11

Tuesday 16 June 2015 4:20

plot twist: the boat was stationary on dry land.

furstur 16

Tuesday 16 June 2015 4:41

If Justin bieber were my owner, I'd do that too.

hulksmash70 5

Tuesday 16 June 2015 6:35

lmfaooo! ??? I know its ****** up but this post had me dying!

pinque 19

Tuesday 16 June 2015 6:53

This is so inappropriate

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The Top

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 195

You deserved it 6 413

Today, I got home from working at KFC and hopped straight into the shower. I could see that the water was being tinged yellow by the grease that had got plastered on me at work and was now coming off, so I started gagging and almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 204

The Top

Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 556

You deserved it 12 074

Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200-picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 884

You deserved it 3 699

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 880

You deserved it 2 891

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 093

You deserved it 3 955

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 212

You deserved it 9 315

Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 517

You deserved it 3 664