Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd...

By fEk - 22/03/2019 09:00 - Australia

Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 322

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 820

You deserved it 7 667

Can't see for shit

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 14:02

Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 223

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 155

You deserved it 2 356

By flipflap - 14/06/2015 06:35

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 310

You deserved it 7 110

By idiot - 19/11/2016 06:48 - United States - Wausau

Today, while I was reading on my tablet, my dog wanted to be let outside, so I set down the tablet and let her outside. I returned to the living room to continue reading when I heard a crunch. The tablet had fallen to the floor and I'd stepped on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 788

You deserved it 2 775

Played a blinder

By hereforfmls - 26/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 587

You deserved it 410

By unknown - 04/02/2011 08:11

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 637

You deserved it 5 968

By vegantreegirl - 04/02/2019 20:00

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 477

You deserved it 322

By Wounded_irony - 05/12/2017 05:00

Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 904

You deserved it 605

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 840

You deserved it 370

Charlie Given 26

Friday 22 March 2019 15:31

Dog 2 Human 0 🤣😂

raven_of_azarath 34

Friday 22 March 2019 17:55

Your glasses or the dog poop? You should never ever use “it” unless you are referring to the same subject as the previous sentence/clause.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Friday 22 March 2019 14:23

Your chewed-up glasses went between your toes? Even from a few feet away? I’d have guessed dog turd squished between your toes, but it’s not clear what the antecedent of “it” is.

Charlie Given 26

Friday 22 March 2019 15:31

Dog 2 Human 0 🤣😂

raven_of_azarath 34

Friday 22 March 2019 17:55

Your glasses or the dog poop? You should never ever use “it” unless you are referring to the same subject as the previous sentence/clause.

tounces7 27

Monday 25 March 2019 17:02

It's funny because this is one of the many reasons I don't have a dog and never will. If I want a lovable idiot there's plenty of humans available who at least won't poop on the ground.