Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
maiden_girl 5
Next time lock yourself in the bathroom and if you knock yourself out again no one will see you...
2random 0
hahahaha!!! loser!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
SgtSchadenfreude 0
That story didn't end NEARLY as gruesomely as I imagined it would from the first line, especially since you were on the bottom bunk.
redhusk89 0
people look he might be joking but some people can pass out from a slight bump. It's called a trigger point he may have one and have hit himself just right. The part about parents getting home I doubt as any parent worth their salt would check to make sure you were ok if you fell after hitting your head. The implication is you fell back into the bed in such a way that it looked like you were asleep. That I find hard to believe
Flagiz 0
Haha! I feel sorry for ya.
redsox4021 0
#17 I clicked ur profile to see what u were pointing at and I see ur. a 13 year old that likes paramore and twilight and ur a GUY. you are defenitly a queer!!!
bsbrulez92704 0
if you were sitting up rather than lying down this wouldnt have happened what did your parents say? hey just tell them at least they didnt find you with a girl
sgallman90 0
you should sell this i could totally see it in a movie
zachiswak 0
epic.
raiden2k10 0
loolll nice story.
ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0
lol good 1
iangel92 2
lmao!!
kekelala3 0
Who needs to go back to 2nd grade? You do!!!