Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
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Top comments
maiden_girl 5
Next time lock yourself in the bathroom and if you knock yourself out again no one will see you...
2random 0
hahahaha!!! loser!
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Comments (43)
PanixAtTheFallOu 0
okay?? so how old are you. i just fin it a bit strange that youre going solo and still in a bunk bed. just saying.
lyricjustice 0
haha what a lozer!!! haha
Dibil 0
oh snap!
mionee95 0
HAHAHAHA(: i havent laughed this hard in a long time :P thank you for having an effed life and making me feel better, amen :D
mjcurreri198 0
how cool, use a flashlight thing, and cum in ur hand, easy!!
mousepad41 0
Not to mention covered in CUMM Tasty lol
Pehhz 4
Do u pass out so easily?
amorprincess2002 7
That's what I was thinking.I would've just got up,rubbed my head,and kept moving.
katrinabadree 0
It's actually very common to hit ur head and pass out and be ok. My friend hit is head on a soccer ball really hard and passed out. So all you dumb dicks saying its not possible to get hit and not be hurt best be shutting the **** up.
kingcaesar 0
Think with something other than your dick next time. Try your brain...
MarkToast 19
karma cums back at you