Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML
Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML
Today, I spent 10 minutes passionately explaining a concept on the board while the class was unusually quiet. When I turned around, half the students were trying not to laugh. I had written the entire explanation with a marker that was completely dried out. The board was blank. I essentially gave a TED Talk to a wall. FML
Today, I was called to solve a problem question at the start of a lecture. I stupidly went up to the board before telling the lecturer in front of 300+ students that I had no Idea what he had been doing the whole week. The lecturer made a sneery comment about why some of us are blockheads. FML
Today, I was sternly told that if I didn't pass more students, I would be out of a job. I then went to my class to collect papers, and was stymied by how I could be giving passing grades to the 12 of 24 who didn't turn anything in. College students. FML
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
Today, I was warned that I was failing too many students and it had to stop, so I showed my boss all of the easy assignments a lot of students didn't even turn in. She told me to stop using so many "big words" in them. I teach at a four year University. FML
Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML
Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML
Today, I got the hiccups during an exam. I wasn't allowed to leave to get a drink of water, so I had to sit there and take my test while hiccuping violently. The teacher ended up sending me to the hall and ripping up my test for "distracting the other students". FML
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Top comments
friedpwnadge 25
Public schools are doing a fine job I see.
infamoushack 10
The "no child left behind" program at its finest!
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Comments (150)
olpally 33
Are you sure they aren't in 1st grade? Lol. Wow.
domking1315 20
Umm i would think she's sure
olpally 33
Just checking cuz these kids seem pretty damn stupid.
Stephy94 9
Oh, the irony is strong with this one...
olpally 33
Trying to make a joke you ******* morons. Good god. Get bent.
deathy94 14
Wait, you're telling me pigs aren't amphibians and sharks don't have lung? I have been living a lie my whole life. What are you going to tell me next? That cats don't have wing and that I have been practicing all these years for nothing?
BlueFlatts 20
How far will one wing take the cat? And what are you practicing for? These questions need answers.
graceinsheepwear 34
I will tell you that wings and lungs come in pairs.
threer 30
Your comment is a fail, as it is too long and the structure is annoying.. It's incomprehensible for me.
RedPillSucks 33
WTF? The comment is 2 sentences long? are you one of those people that respond with TL DR for a comment that says TL DR ???
krnthuy 6
no child left behind!!
timelessone 16
Didn't know they had that in Canada.
NotGabe 28
Didn't know that applied to universities.
threer 30
Didn't know those in universities were children.
RedPillSucks 33
pedo bear only cares about a childs right behind.
Rddvl 11
It really confuses me how the students in universities are that dumb, but the competition gets harder every year.
bandeek 30
Parents.
cristy91 33
The competition gets harder every year because the cost of going is higher. In my opinion, at least, what you're competing for are the grants.
PrinceKitsoon 7
The pig thing I understand being an FML moment, but I only just learned about sharks not having lungs by reading this. I don't thinks it is common knowledge, like how sea turtles can breath through their rear end.
gracehi 33
Sharks are fish. Fish do not have lungs. They have gills. -.-
PrinceKitsoon 7
I probably learned this in elementary and I forgot the information. I never took my interest in fish any further than which edible fish is the tastiest. :")
DjeePee 25
I doubt you *just* learned about it. 'Sharks are fishes while whales/dolphins are mammals' is teached on every elementary school - I can even recall learning it three years in a row! It's supposed to be common knowledge, yet when I was fifteen, half of my class (teacher included) didn't know whether a shark was a fish or a mammal. Seems three years in a row isn't enough.
bruins46 6
#55 it's too bad that your school didn't teach you grammar three years in a row as well. I'm pretty sure 'fishes' and 'teached' are not actual words...
hallix 21
I always assumed the gills led to an adaptation of the lungs... Maybe I should have considered taking the marine biology class after all.
gimmicksz 9
#106 i thought that too, thought gills took the oxygen from the water for their lungs
thrAsHeRr9081 16
104 - English isn't her first language
lil_ham1644 29
Actually, fishes is correct. For a group of one kind of fish, so a school of minnows would be "fish." A group of two or more species is fishes.
punkyboy 11
what! pigs aren't aquatic animals that's why they kept on drowning when I put them in water.
graceinsheepwear 34
Well at least the sharks were too busy surfacing for air to eat the drowning baconfish.
threer 30
I'm pretty sure pigs, like dogs, can swim...
gracehi 33
I failed out of college, and even I know that pigs are mammals and sharks are fish. I'm beginning to think that perhaps it was the university that failed me, rather than I who failed the university *Mind blown*
ywolfgl 21
What's sad is that many college students fail to mature! And so even upperclassman can be immature and when professors meet them...... It sucks ass! Also sucks for students like me who are more mature than them!
AmyPond17 33
What does maturity have to do with this?
cottoncandymango 17
You shouldn't have to explain anything to university students... It's already a lost cause.
calucalay 13
well.... duh to A. but on B explain why they dont have lungs? i thought all animals had lungs of some sort....
Jenn2021 8
They do have lungs of some sort. In this case they're called gills.
arre2006 19
You're one of the slow ones op is talking about huh cal?