Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML
Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML
Today, I spent 10 minutes passionately explaining a concept on the board while the class was unusually quiet. When I turned around, half the students were trying not to laugh. I had written the entire explanation with a marker that was completely dried out. The board was blank. I essentially gave a TED Talk to a wall. FML
Today, I was called to solve a problem question at the start of a lecture. I stupidly went up to the board before telling the lecturer in front of 300+ students that I had no Idea what he had been doing the whole week. The lecturer made a sneery comment about why some of us are blockheads. FML
Today, I was sternly told that if I didn't pass more students, I would be out of a job. I then went to my class to collect papers, and was stymied by how I could be giving passing grades to the 12 of 24 who didn't turn anything in. College students. FML
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
Today, I was warned that I was failing too many students and it had to stop, so I showed my boss all of the easy assignments a lot of students didn't even turn in. She told me to stop using so many "big words" in them. I teach at a four year University. FML
Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML
Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML
Today, I got the hiccups during an exam. I wasn't allowed to leave to get a drink of water, so I had to sit there and take my test while hiccuping violently. The teacher ended up sending me to the hall and ripping up my test for "distracting the other students". FML
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Top comments
friedpwnadge 25
Public schools are doing a fine job I see.
infamoushack 10
The "no child left behind" program at its finest!
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Comments (150)
Biancamarie11 6
Awesome job
Lili_love 14
even college students Christmas Tree exams
theKevmeister 13
this is what happens when high schools lower their classes and test difficulty to give the appearance of more students with high scores so they get more "funding"
crabbedapple 8
I hope this university is in Calgary.
josiem 11
How the hell did these people get in to university in the first place? Aren't there minimum standards?
michellez 5
147 No actually all tests to get into college do not test for knowledge in science or history. They test for math and English and reading and you cannot take any science classes until you have taken the prerequisites for them. Even the SAT in high school doesn't test for science or history. Although this takes place in Canada i'm sure it is the same over there.
thewaterbear 10
Okay, I can understand why someone would get the latter one wrong; one could confuse sharks with dolphins. But why would anyone think a pig is aquatic?
Brak_Spaceman 19
How do sharks breathe without lungs?
MissNicMcNic 4
Were these your students? If so, you're not doing the job their parents/owners of strip clubs are paying you to do.
Rockgor 6
I think it's more the kids' lives that are screwed up. Not the teacher's.
Scaleon1 14
Always take a buddy whenever you swim, keep an eye out for aquatic pigs!