Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML
Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML
Today, I spent 10 minutes passionately explaining a concept on the board while the class was unusually quiet. When I turned around, half the students were trying not to laugh. I had written the entire explanation with a marker that was completely dried out. The board was blank. I essentially gave a TED Talk to a wall. FML
Today, I was called to solve a problem question at the start of a lecture. I stupidly went up to the board before telling the lecturer in front of 300+ students that I had no Idea what he had been doing the whole week. The lecturer made a sneery comment about why some of us are blockheads. FML
Today, I was sternly told that if I didn't pass more students, I would be out of a job. I then went to my class to collect papers, and was stymied by how I could be giving passing grades to the 12 of 24 who didn't turn anything in. College students. FML
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
Today, I was warned that I was failing too many students and it had to stop, so I showed my boss all of the easy assignments a lot of students didn't even turn in. She told me to stop using so many "big words" in them. I teach at a four year University. FML
Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML
Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML
Today, I got the hiccups during an exam. I wasn't allowed to leave to get a drink of water, so I had to sit there and take my test while hiccuping violently. The teacher ended up sending me to the hall and ripping up my test for "distracting the other students". FML
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Top comments
friedpwnadge 25
Public schools are doing a fine job I see.
infamoushack 10
The "no child left behind" program at its finest!
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Comments (150)
buckdharma 38
I once met a shark with bad breath.
LilFlutter 10
Yeah, but it wasn't bacon breath!
Jenn2021 8
I can understand how some might not understand that Sharks don't have lungs. Some people are more dense than others. However, having to explain that pigs aren't aquatic animals is ridiculous.
threer 30
Yeah, some people are definitely more dense that others... Apparently, some don't even know that 'sharks' shouldn't be capitalized.
Jenn2021 8
Apparently you aren't familiar with technology. Every once in a while electronics do things you don't intend for them to do. I'm guessing you've gotten shifty comments, such as yours, for similar reasons and just felt the need to pay it forward.
graceinsheepwear 34
63, you are a bit of a downer. Next time try commenting after your morning enema, not before.
_neurotic_ 3
That's fine, As long as they know how to reproduce, Generation goes on...
RedPillSucks 33
but do we really want them to?
Epikouros 32
Maybe this just shows that college students are alcoholic animals. Pigs are good swimmers, btw. The fat helps us float. For centuries, Europeans thought that we would cut our own throats when swimming. At least people are not that stupid anymore.
suri23 11
No, **** everyone's life.
Frenchtony 17
I don't really see how one would believe that pigs are by nature, aquatic animals, but one could think that since they occasionally swim, they could be considered somehow aquatic. My point here is that the phrasing of the question may change the answers you get. And I mean if you ask "Are pigs aquatic animals ?" Who's smarter, the one that says "Of course no !" or the one that says "Well they could be considering this and that.., but here's why they aren't..." ? I don't really have an explanation for the shark issue though...
RedPillSucks 33
You could say that about almost all mammals that live anywhere near water. At some point they may end up in water, like the aquatic giraffe or the aquatic tiger.
brittyboo123 35
You have a bunch of geniuses this year OP!
chagooch11 1
Actually sharks do have a modified form of lungs so technically they are right.
Grimnirwher9 21
Yeah, they call that "gills".
DorkAlert 10
Gills aren't a modified form of lungs. If you believe in a creator they were designed as gills specific for water. If u believe that fish came before land animals then lungs have evolved from gills. So lungs would be a modified form of gills not the other way around.
Grimnirwher9 21
Hey, you're right. I never thought of it that way. thanks for teaching me something, bro!
love_me_electric 20
Some fish do have a single "lung" called a labyrinth organ. This allows them to survive temporarily if they accidentally jump onto land. I don't think sharks have it though.
TheHeavyOne 15
Now that's a bit scary!
shelpster52 7
Guess your not a very good teacher !