Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Today, I ran home because a guy I had never seen before got off the bus at the same time as me, and followed me almost all the way home. I was crying for my mom to call the police but my brother just snorted at me, because, “Only pretty girls have stalkers.” I wish I was an only child. FML
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML
Today, I was crying after a bad day at work. As I walked down the street, a young boy in a minivan tried to get my attention. He kept saying, "Hi, hi, please wave!" in a sad voice. When I politely waved at him, I saw a group of kids in the van giggling hysterically and taking pictures of me. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
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Top comments
kenjiisown 1
maybe you should stop using that voice
ohrlynow 9
Maybe what you consider your "sweet" voice actually sounds more like a "I'm-going-to-take-you-home-and-devour-you" voice? If that was the case, I'd run too.
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Comments (96)
Selena_is_back 7
If you're alone and get too cold you might become ice-olated. D:
Bhoek 0
hahahah de jeugd van tegenwoordig, allemaal bang voor kinderlokkers!!:D Hahahaha Kid's these days, all scared for pedophiles:P!:P
justsayfuck 5
Whenever the OP is Dutch, there will always be a few Dutch replies. Please don't do it. You might have translated it, but that is only obvious for the few people that speak Dutch. So next time, stick to English please, so everyone will be able to read your comment. In addition it might reduce the chance of your comment getting moderated as well :)
Sirin_fml 47
Je suppose que je vais devoir m'atomiser moi même alors... I mean... yeah, what the psychiatric patient said.
mclovin000 0
must be pretty ugly.
mathew17986g 2
omg what does your sweet voice sound like?
Laxinitup 18
Don't take it personally, you are just ugly; that or else you give off such a pedophile vibe that even kids.
its_tuesday 6
maybe you look like pedobear
BlueTwist89 0
Lol, de ja vu? Obviously you need to stop using your sweet voice, which is probably being misinterpreted as CREEPY. Unless there is something scary (to kids) about your appearance. I'd suggest using your normal voice.
rene22 18
Third time's the charm; next time put a bag over your head.
Discombobulated9 12
Good. It means our kids aren't talking to strangers. Parents taught them well.
jsnakes12 0
get a "free candy inside" sign for your car. it will complete the image