Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Today, I ran home because a guy I had never seen before got off the bus at the same time as me, and followed me almost all the way home. I was crying for my mom to call the police but my brother just snorted at me, because, “Only pretty girls have stalkers.” I wish I was an only child. FML
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML
Today, I was crying after a bad day at work. As I walked down the street, a young boy in a minivan tried to get my attention. He kept saying, "Hi, hi, please wave!" in a sad voice. When I politely waved at him, I saw a group of kids in the van giggling hysterically and taking pictures of me. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
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Top comments
kenjiisown 1
maybe you should stop using that voice
ohrlynow 9
Maybe what you consider your "sweet" voice actually sounds more like a "I'm-going-to-take-you-home-and-devour-you" voice? If that was the case, I'd run too.
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Comments (96)
v1zual 0
when you said that, you didn't accidentally untied your pants?
Othello22 4
at least you didnt run after him xD or chase him down in your white creeper van.
MaCOOLiT 5
get rid of the Moles-tache!
Iluv2D_fml 0
I think anyone would run away with that tone of voice. It gives me the heebeejeebies! O.O
LBenedietto 0
haha
RKftw68 0
you've alerted the witch. Learn to cr0wn n00b
sjuniorg 3
it's cuz he heard that voice and saw a bib bump on ur crouch so he got scared
taytay6510 6
hahaha nicee
TheLetterZero 7
Gotta love sentence fragments. Two different assumptions can be made from this FML. 1. The little boy was walking, crying, and all alone. The OP tries to help him. 2. A little boy was walking, minding his own business. The OP, who was crying and all alone at the time, thought he was lost and tried to help him. #2 wouldn't be a surprising scenario.
jacobburnmysac 0
and guess who looks like a rapist
x3herox3 0
Ugly?