Miscellaneous: Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't... - FML

By Bonapp - 09/02/2012 22:11 - France

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 563

You deserved it 9 805

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Got away with it, surely?

By Cinnanyan - 02/06/2016 10:20 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 767

You deserved it 2 613

Fight Club

By Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 306

You deserved it 7 808

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 478

You deserved it 29 004

Masterchef 2020

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 18:58 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 61

Tasty!

By Sad and hungry - 25/04/2020 17:00

Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 245

Social anxiety

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 06:00

Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 701

Bon appétit

By StijnDescamps - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 2 485

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 090

You deserved it 7 782

By perfectman - 12/06/2012 10:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 294

You deserved it 8 367

By aeris - 11/11/2018 09:30 - United States

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. They prepared dinner for us - mushroom pasta. I have always hated mushrooms, so I spent the entire dinner trying not to gag. Unfortunately, I did gag and my mom got up and smacked me so hard I fell out of my chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 669

You deserved it 438

Next

Top comments

kamikrazy 6

Friday 10 February 2012 0:33

Plastic fruit taste better

shanemaximo 7

Friday 10 February 2012 0:33

Well there's your conversation starter right there!

Comments

musicspeaks6424 1

Sunday 12 February 2012 15:39

Should've had a V8

MerahNikole 0

Monday 13 February 2012 1:30

How does plastic taste bro? Ahah. , wow.

cunningchick 1

Tuesday 14 February 2012 4:46

BANG!

dapickle 9

Monday 13 February 2012 5:19

Like," how about them apples!" xD

lemonsquid 6

Monday 13 February 2012 17:18

Hehe.. That's was a dumb moment..

bubbiebear 7

Monday 23 July 2012 23:58

Ha

cloudygirl5 16

Thursday 16 August 2012 8:17

Yuckkkk

PrincessCastiel 27

Thursday 13 March 2014 4:11

That was an episode of Lucy

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Abuse Birthday Relatable Social Media Money Scams Parents School Kids Education Health Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 8 930

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 646

You deserved it 3 615

The Top

Today, I just got home in a state of shock. My wife was apparently pregnant without realising it, with no weight gain, then she gave birth at 1 a.m. It was supposed to be a normal Sunday then poof, we have a baby and a house we haven’t baby-proofed. We don’t even have nappies or clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 139

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 903

Today, despite knowing full well that I am allergic to citric acid, I bought and ate candy that is essentially just powdered and flavoured citric acid. Now my tongue is too swollen and painful to eat. I’m a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 280

Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 988

You deserved it 1 902

Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 340

You deserved it 3 877

Today, I realized it was mistake telling my son to toughen up and fight his own battles when he told me he was getting bullied. Apparently, his idea of fighting his own battles involves ipecac. I don't know where he got it, but when I asked, he just gave the Kubrick stare and denied knowing what I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 975