Miscellaneous: Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't...

By Bonapp - 09/02/2012 22:11 - France

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 563

You deserved it 9 805

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Same thing different taste

Got away with it, surely?

By Cinnanyan - 02/06/2016 10:20 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 767

You deserved it 2 613

Fight Club

By Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 306

You deserved it 7 808

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 478

You deserved it 29 004

Masterchef 2020

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 18:58 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 61

Tasty!

By Sad and hungry - 25/04/2020 17:00

Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 245

Social anxiety

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 06:00

Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 701

Bon appétit

By StijnDescamps - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 2 485

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 090

You deserved it 7 782

By perfectman - 12/06/2012 10:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 294

You deserved it 8 367

By aeris - 11/11/2018 09:30 - United States

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. They prepared dinner for us - mushroom pasta. I have always hated mushrooms, so I spent the entire dinner trying not to gag. Unfortunately, I did gag and my mom got up and smacked me so hard I fell out of my chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 669

You deserved it 438

kamikrazy 6

Friday 10 February 2012 0:33

Plastic fruit taste better

shanemaximo 7

Friday 10 February 2012 0:33

Well there's your conversation starter right there!

Comments

rroughknight1 0

Friday 10 February 2012 7:27

to bad you didnt have a twix!

NAAMxLOOS 11

Friday 10 February 2012 10:08

To bad, or not to bad. That is the question.

imaxmain 24

Friday 10 February 2012 7:48

is it me or the fact it says this "Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!" make this funnyer

molzipan 16

Friday 10 February 2012 8:03

maybe you should have chewed it over with a twix instead

kmatthews4 0

Friday 10 February 2012 8:21

Dude , no biggy. It's actually kinda funny.

seximexi2 4

Friday 10 February 2012 9:02

How old are you? Haha just curious

Knash 3

Friday 10 February 2012 10:08

you should have kept eating it, like a boss, as they stared at you.

yummy_richkid 3

Friday 10 February 2012 11:37

^creeper alert.

MaceFaceLOL 8

Friday 10 February 2012 11:52

Curious = date rape

vsat207 0

Friday 10 February 2012 12:22

That awkward moment when you have plastic apples chips in your teeth

Michael_92 20

Friday 10 February 2012 13:03

Like plastic...duh

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The Top

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 006

You deserved it 21 832

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 945

The Top

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 077

You deserved it 51 892

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 916

You deserved it 45 901

Today, my jerk of an ex messaged to apologize for dumping me two weeks ago. I took the high road and was overtly polite and friendly, hoping to end things civil. Our conversation ended when he casually mentioned he is moving in with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 212

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 962

You deserved it 3 431

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 763

You deserved it 4 942

Today, to avoid walking on a thumbtack that had fallen on the floor, my little sister took a red sharpie to the carpet and drew a circle around it, "so that way, everyone will see it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 42