Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I found a piece of a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth. I haven't eaten popcorn in over a week and a half. FML
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Top comments
d j mom 9
at least you know to invest in some floss for work now. floss picks are portable and small.
DLBL 23
Right! I've been carrying floss-picks in my pocket for years!
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Comments (1)
d j mom 9
at least you know to invest in some floss for work now. floss picks are portable and small.
DLBL 23
Right! I've been carrying floss-picks in my pocket for years!