Intimacy: Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was...

By Caught - 11/11/2010 13:34 - United States

Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 681

You deserved it 43 164

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Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 07:28 - United States - Plainview

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 987

You deserved it 3 321

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 979

You deserved it 4 567

Open your eyes

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 14:00

Today, I was taking some "me time" when my neighbor drove past and saw me. What I failed to realize was that my dog had pushed the shades open for my body to be right on display. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 388

Never cross the streams

By caughttt - 10/02/2010 02:52 - United States

Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 253

You deserved it 43 639

By tabbycacti - 30/11/2015 13:06 - Australia

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light. I saw my neighbour and her new boyfriend crossing the road, then noticed as he started grabbing his crotch, but thought nothing of it. They both then pulled down their pants and urinated in the middle of the busy intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 950

You deserved it 1 781

By Lolrus - 28/03/2009 16:50 - Qatar

Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 172

You deserved it 5 762

Oh hey how are you?

By Shelly - 13/06/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 077

You deserved it 46 215

Jogging is dangerous

By jumpedjogger - 14/09/2011 08:34 - United States

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 600

You deserved it 3 760

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 127

You deserved it 40 939

Weirdo alert!

By CuteFeeties - 07/08/2022 18:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend took me on a drive while he did some errands. I waited for him in the car with my bare feet on his dashboard, like I usually do. As I waited, I noticed a woman blatantly taking pictures of my feet from across the lot, and she winked at me. I cowered in my seat until he came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 330

Flord 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 18:49

did your neighbor wave back?

Zmeilerr 22

Thursday 11 November 2010 18:33

kinky

Comments

Iskaria 0

Friday 12 November 2010 11:02

That and the FML says HE was on top.

mouxouxou 11

Friday 12 November 2010 17:38

You should really check your reflexes something is wrong.... :|

BlackMoon_fml 9

Friday 12 November 2010 19:14

#32, I'm jealous too. :(

NicoleMorganX3 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 19:41

this doesn't make sense for so many reasons

DisappearingRose 18

Sunday 14 November 2010 6:57

Good job for being a good neighbor :)

kimlong1000 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:06

FAIL!!!!!!!!

ellabellaswe 6

Wednesday 17 November 2010 16:33

I don't think I've ever laughed this much to an FML before. To just...picture the scenario. It's epic.

Blondefreckles13 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:02

You should have gotten it in both holes at one time! Thats hott!

demitheleopard 8

Friday 22 July 2011 3:01

Common courtesy should always be a priority! :)

AdriTheCutie 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 23:28

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Keywords

AITA Love Relatable Break-ups Clothes Work Awkward Customers Miscellaneous Weird Shopping My ex Romantic Texting Embarrassing Family Racism Kids Health Death Cheating Animals Cats Cute Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Psychology

The Top

Today, as my date and I were climbing into bed, she casually mentioned she’s never had an anonymous one night stand before. We work in the same office; that’s where we met. Apparently, I was always under her radar, and she assumed I was a customer instead of her coworker of two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 222

Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 398

You deserved it 363

The Top

Today, I had to poop, but as I sat down, it wouldn't come out. After about 10 minutes I realized I needed help. The only help I could get was my mother, who couldn't stop laughing at the sweat and faces I made. I still hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 286

Today, my boyfriend taught my son to do his chores. Not real chores, but "Runescape chores" on my boyfriend's account. My son won't pick up his toys or put his shoes away, but he'll jump on the computer to grow plants or cut trees or some other stupid shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 220

Today, during a Zoom meeting to discuss genetic disorders, my mom chose to share my challenges and experiences. I might have approved, had she acknowledged my presence and asked my permission instead of speaking before me. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 190

Today, after my wife said I could decide what to do with our spare room, I decided to make a home gym. She hasn't stopped ranting about "patriarchal diet culture" and "unrealistic body expectations" since. I just wanted to get fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 123

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, as I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldn't fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 223

You deserved it 2 688

Today, I had to crown the homecoming queen, a responsibility of mine as class president. It just happened to be that the queen is my ex-girlfriend that I still love, escorted by her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 722

You deserved it 4 149