Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, I was taking some "me time" when my neighbor drove past and saw me. What I failed to realize was that my dog had pushed the shades open for my body to be right on display. FML
Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML
Today, I was waiting at a traffic light. I saw my neighbour and her new boyfriend crossing the road, then noticed as he started grabbing his crotch, but thought nothing of it. They both then pulled down their pants and urinated in the middle of the busy intersection. FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a drive while he did some errands. I waited for him in the car with my bare feet on his dashboard, like I usually do. As I waited, I noticed a woman blatantly taking pictures of my feet from across the lot, and she winked at me. I cowered in my seat until he came back. FML
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Top comments
Flord 0
did your neighbor wave back?
Zmeilerr 22
kinky
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Comments (81)
boopityboppity 11
I feel like this should've been at least three separate sentences.
boopityboppity 11
Either y'all are exhibitionists, or your neighbor is a somnambulist. Perhaps he's a sexsomniac, in which case perdix probably has the most accurate comment of all.
Fortuitous 0
It also should have been under #9's comment. But that would be ideal, and it's just so hard for people to do the right thing nowadays.
EmmyGrangerDC 0
Hahaha it's one of those actions you usually do, so it just sorta slipped. lol.
boopityboppity 11
Oh, I agree, 44. Haha, see what I did?
Fortuitous 0
Ah, well played. I applaud your cunning.
Nadinek98 0
i bet Ur bf was like who the f is that
varkey 7
and ur postin this on fml why? you are the one who waved... i dont get it and why in the car? that's a public place btw, you can get arrested
boopityboppity 11
There are so many things that are wrong with your comment, 49. Let me list a few of them: -Your commas should both be replaced by periods. This only reinforces my original point. -If you could care less, that means you care. -You said, "There is 3." -What's a speperate sentence? -Comment #38 wasn't a sentence. It was just a jumble of words. You don't happen to be related to Gertrude Stein, do you?
EdailEcstacy 0
lol did your neighbor wave back.?
CallMeHush 1
I bet your dad is proud.