By Nate - 31/03/2011 15:54 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 565
You deserved it 24 888

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If you had shouted "Praise the Lord", then everything would have been OK.

You got off lucky, for realz. If that were me I would have let out a lot more than a squeal. Something along the lines of "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK", politely demonstrated by me today when my mother dearest slammed my toe in the car door :)

Comments

Awww, my husband did that and he about cried.

I almost got mine removed. :D : D :D :D :D :D. :D :D :D :D and I ran away.

I popped my left one like that. thank God for implants.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!

lol church top tip: dont waste your time praying and actually go out and do something useful

^ shut the fuck up and don't judge people.

yeah 43 fuck of faith isn't a waste of time and places you go to pray help you remember that.

that's a ball buster!

now he knows how drag queens feel every time two sit down.

hahaha ydi for going to church

Nothing wrong with church fucktard

god isn't real

awww i know you dont like me but tbh your the closest to a mate that i have on here

Ouchies.. :') I'm so happy to be a girl..

and a little bit of hahaha?

YDI for going to church.

get a nut bra! you couldve prevented this if your balls werent hanging all the way to your ass. LOL

It's funny because of 1's pic haha XD Goes with it perfectly.

that's what happens when ur a Christian lrn2religion right nooob

lesson of the day: don't go to church!

138, i have the same cup lmao

speaking of cups, OP should try wearing one lol.

yea, so you can bleed every month and not die?? fuck that

Yeah have fun with that period

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

23 is funnier than 4. XD

Fail spelling. Now, play nice.

you put your phone number online? im gonna spam it on the Internet so you get a lot of calls

Should have said that the prayer was so touching that you got over excited :) "Holy pee in my pants!"

If you had shouted "Praise the Lord", then everything would have been OK.

Or "Amen" and "Glory" all three wouldve been acceptable

After you squealed, I bet the priest asked to speak to you privately in his office.

Preist wanted to show him his very own, and private, holy cross!

hahaha. wow....

I'm reminded of a south park episode here.

119 - Hello Children! Hey chef, what would a priest want to stick up our ass? Goodbye!

I wonder if priests know how people talk about them being pedophiles. It seems like all of those comments might hinder their desire to ever become a priest in the first place.

Yes, #183, they know they will be judged out of ignorance or bigotry, but choose to dedicate their lives to God regardless. That must take courage.

really no matter what you do you will be judge. so it doesn't take that much courage at all

oh u changed ur pic again doc :P

I wish you could follow people in this site cuz I would follow docbastard, every1lovesbones and missbunny

183 is a priest...

You should have said that you saw one of the angel statues moved. Or something like that. Haha.

did everyone in the congregation blink or something?

I noticed all the thumbs down too... I think someone is taking religion a little too seriously. If God didn't have a sense of humor, half of us wouldn't exist! (Nor would the platypus) This is one of my favorites... it also explains quite a bit. :)

:) Best episode of doctor who, except maybe The Impossible Planet.

Doo weeoooo Weeooooooo!!! (theme song... lol)

Tell them you're on a drug called charlie seen... and you got one speed "GO"... which prevents you from staying quiet for too long

Only Chuck Norris has taken two doses of Charlie Sheen and he still lives!!

win^ (idc wat u say i kno chuck norris jokes are old but that was still a win)

When he crushed his balls TIGER BLOOD came out.

best comment I have seen so far!

Why does 104 and 120 have so many dislikes, that was an awesome comment

Sounds painfull. FYL.

You got off lucky, for realz. If that were me I would have let out a lot more than a squeal. Something along the lines of "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK", politely demonstrated by me today when my mother dearest slammed my toe in the car door :)

How did she fuck up my toe? She asked me to come to the shops with her, so being the doting daughter that I am, I quickly jumped in the car with my pjs on and no shoes. When she got what she needed she opened my door to hand it to me to hold onto, shutting the door before I was ready, thus jamming my big toe. Needless to say I screamed expletives while desperately trying to open the door because she didn't notice. Maybe I have such a foul mouth she thinks it's normal for me to scream random swear words out :(

Sounds fun.

I think by How, he meant how could that have been you... as you have no testes =D

How does that even happen?

guess no underware...

you sit and land on a wrong angle thus squishing the testis

Wait 'til your nuts drop, then you'll see.

you either got some saggy nuts (and need a nut bra) or you sit at the wrong angle as stated above.