Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML
Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML
Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you OK? You seemed depressed earlier." FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML
Today, I moved out of my parents' house and started living alone. All of a sudden, my parents started requiring me to text or call them every 5 minutes to tell them where I am and what I'm doing, from 6am to 12am every day. If I don't, they will go looking for me, and force me to move back in with them. FML
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Top comments
Sun_Kissed18 25
Wow your fault
ily_hun996 0
You never, EVER say, "Thank you for not checking in on me."
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Comments (188)
LebChickOnFira 0
hope you know why she was suspicious. you dont deserve to get trusted by your parents !
Clairina 0
agreed #'s 1, 2, and 20
khatuba 0
someone agree with me!
Nonamerequired 0
agreed =)
ithedarkknight 0
lmao dude who does that obviously you do... but way to make something obvious... first thing you do... if you know your mom is leaving make sure you know when she is coming back... and second dont call your mom unless she calls you... and if you do call keep it breif as usual tell you playing video games or some shit you normally do... when you start changing your behavior parents easily pick up on it... act like your usual self...
twist_n_shout 0
Do no punctuation sign keys on your keyboard work except for the period, which apparently is jammed and always comes out in threes???
XDNLxtlz99 0
You lack of Grammer concerns me. As well with your stupidity, and your inability to speak proper english.
Bones62 0
I smell irony in this post.
DuhthatsObvious 0
#74, it's 'grammar'. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
HughCumberdale 4
#69 Looks like your question mark key has the same problem. You should get that fixed :)
Clairina 0
i will agree with you #24!...on what?
khatuba 0
hahaha, i was just having a silly moment. thanks for agreeing though:)
BabaBlackShirt 0
Today, I was house? Home you idiot.
survivalism 0
House SITTING, retard.
lexiBRo 0
try reading before you post..
Ligerie 0
no she was house sitting for her parents, like baby sitting but for a house.
mrnicety 0
OR SHE WAS A ****** PARPITY HOOHA ahahahahahhhahahhaaahha fud
xHaniffax 0
Technically, it should be "house-sitting" not just two separate words.
drinkupgorgeous 0
#31, the OP is a guy.
mcsnelly 5
No, actually OP was house sitting for someone else, not his parents. He would have said he threw a party at *his* house or at *home* not at *the* house. And most people would probably just say their parents were away and they were home alone, not house sitting. That usually is only referring to other people's houses. And if the mom had left the OP at home long enough for him to think it'd be okay to throw a party, she'd most likely be out of town and wouldn't be able to just show up...she'd just have someone else check on him.
Chalaka 0
Ummm....then why would he text his mom? I'm pretty sure if you sent a text like that to your mom she wouldn't go into someone else's house to check on you.
misstaylatot 0
you're the idiot. she was house sitting.
TheLetterZero 7
He*
live_my_life245 0
wowwwwww. why would you EVER send a text like that?! really? whyy??
C_Fer 0
Stupid for sending her a message like that. Wait until after she comes back if you're going to say something stupid like that. And #27, "House Sitting" is correct.
molitov 0
that was a little transparent