Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
Today, I moved out of my parents' house and started living alone. All of a sudden, my parents started requiring me to text or call them every 5 minutes to tell them where I am and what I'm doing, from 6am to 12am every day. If I don't, they will go looking for me, and force me to move back in with them. FML
Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML
Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML
Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML
Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML
Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML
Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML
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Top comments
karkid619 8
Moms are just to over protective.
coltsrock37 15
I could just see the police's response: Mom: "Officer, Officer, my son/daughter is missing!" Police: "Could you give me a description, ma'am?" Mom: "Well, he's 31, tall, has brown hair and brown eyes... Police: "Hold on hold on....31?" Mom: "Yes sir!" Police: -pauses- ... -click-
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Comments (113)
afulks78 11
Atleast she cares ?
sunrise1234 3
She might care, but this is way over the top.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Why do you feel the urge to write this useless comment? To be first? Well, congratulations.
karkid619 8
Moms are just to over protective.
TheWindowLicker 13
Must..fight...the urge ..to correct...oh thank god that--IT'S TOO.......****...
Damn_Hippster 11
It just means that she loves you :)
siickman 7
Lol wow i hate nazis... You obviously knew what he meant .....
TheWindowLicker 13
I am by no means a "nazi". There are lots of things that I still get wrong, however it annoys me when people are too lazy to type out one or two letters. Why can't someone just type that extra o for too, or y and o in you. It's annoying. And if it was so they could try to get first, that just makes it that much worse. And trust me, I hate nazis too, anti Semitic bastards.
flamerocker 9
23 Yea I kno wut u mean !!
markrs 0
It's okay. People are TOO lazy. They fat and ugly kind of people :)
jhldc 1
Op dont worry. My mom only calls me to do chores.
rudegirlmania 10
15, if that's love, I never want to experience it. I'm sorry but any sane mom won't flip out after three (ish) hours of no response from their 31 year old "baby".
LiyIa_fml 8
Your Mom is WAY over protective. My Mom can't wait until I leave the damn house. Maybe your Mom is showing signs of parkinsins diease?
Savra_fml 17
63, Parkinson's? I think I can see why your mom wants you to leave the house.
JustHello123 1
your mom is really over protective haha.
xXPurpl3Xx 0
Yeah, that point was stated in the comment we are responding to.
123amanda123 14
win
JustHello123 1
79 I know but I just said it again. So get over it.
Jewdazking23 5
Do you know what parkinsins is #63??
VickLynx 6
65. That's harsh, but still cracked me up!
catiexoxo 0
Haha that's hilarious :) she loves you
caroline766 0
Hahah she does :) I wish my mom loved me
Lanceeden 12
I think the 'i've lived on my own for 10 years' part could be a whole separate fml.
primadonna9396 16
That's great, but in your 20s and 30s, dealing with a smothering parent is a much larger ass pain than a neglectful one.
OneNightStan 2
Moms will be moms enjoy while you can.
sunrise1234 3
True, this might of really annoyed OP, but they got to enjoy their mom while they still got her.
bo1440 3
That's true, I'm sure alot of us miss our mom's, mine was my best friend, and Op should enjoy every those kooky moments, regardless if its annoying him/her.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Does she still call you "my little bunny" as well?
FYLDeep 26
She may have moved on to "My Little Pony". It's sorta the in thing right now.
DontModMeDammit 10
Don't lie we know you are tied up in the trunk of someone's car.
matt120784 0
Don't lie. We know you were tied to your lovers headboard.
DocBastard 40
You're 31 years old. It's time to cut the umbilical cord.
sunrise1234 3
Doc, I think that is a job for you.
robertlovespi 3
Do you not have a good relationship with your mom? They said they were living on their own for ten years. That means they have been independent since they were 21. I wouldn't think a phone call from Mom would be that big of a deal.
KiddNYC1O 22
Over mom's dead body.
cnkk07 8
This is very irrelevant to the topic however, I went through your trauma stories on your blogspot. The seatbelt blog opened my eyes, the part about the oxygen tank + the cigarette made me laugh, and the story about the man who died while driving to his wife's funeral made me sad. I also read your first post and it stated that you had created a blog before with similar stories. I love reading them and I was hoping you'd tell me the URL for your former blog. Thank you.
IStillReadBooks 8
50- One phone call isn't a big deal. Her almost calling the cops because her son didn't answer the phone is ridiculous. It doesn't matter if they have a great relationship, that mom went overboard. Big time.
leadman1989 16
Don't worry the cops already have your picture and an order to "IGNORE that crazy old lady".
gamefreakpog 5
Haha! Your mom loves you. Try answering a few of her calls.
yankfan89 27
He was in a movie he couldn't
DontModMeDammit 10
What would Tosh do?
EvilCupcake8361 9
^ ********** to gay **** in a cardigan :P
NiiTeH 7
Also, who would have their phone on in a movie theater?
leadman1989 16
He could have had it off... It would still say "missed calls" when he turned it back on. Oh and MOST people don't turn off their cells. Just saying.
Egnar 19
Either way it's a moot point - The point is he's 31 and doesn't have to tell his mom where he's going. His mom had no idea he was at the movies and got irrationally scared/needy when he didn't answer. The movie just servers to give us a time frame for how long he was "missing' before his mom freaked out.