Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML
Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML
Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you OK? You seemed depressed earlier." FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML
Today, I moved out of my parents' house and started living alone. All of a sudden, my parents started requiring me to text or call them every 5 minutes to tell them where I am and what I'm doing, from 6am to 12am every day. If I don't, they will go looking for me, and force me to move back in with them. FML
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Top comments
Sun_Kissed18 25
Wow your fault
ily_hun996 0
You never, EVER say, "Thank you for not checking in on me."
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Comments (188)
wbrycem 0
My god you're an idiot.
notapplicable123 0
Here are some translations: "Mom, Dad, you KNOW I love you, right?" = "I want something" "Hey Mom, Dad, I've been doing REALLY well in school, y'know!" - "I still want something." "Look at the *lovely* and *amazing* weather, and how clean the house is...." - "Can I have a friend over/throw a party?" *cleaning the house INSANELY clean while parents are away without being asked* - "I just threw a party." And yours', "Thanks for trusting me and not checking up on me!" - "Please come home right away to ruin the badass party I'm about to throw." Let that be a lesson to you- never thank your parents.
wolfy_fml 5
lmao! So true.
fegd 0
You deserved it. Why would you text here that? Moron.
wakingzombies 0
I've got an adage for you that might be helpful in the future, OP: "Don't stop and ask for directions if you've got a dead body in the trunk." Mmkay?
subtle 0
Usually I don't like to put YDI, but seriously? You're just drawing attention to yourself, especially since you were up to something. It's like stealing something then loudly screaming your innocence before anyone even suspects you. YDI totally and I hope you got a nice punishment.
Pyrbaby 0
Hahaha! That reminds me of a man who stealing clothes from the store I worked at a few years back. He was stashing garbage bags under racks by the door, planning to grab them and run. A worker said, "may I help you sir?" And he snapped, "bags? What bags? I don't have any bags!" OP sounds like he's following in that would-be criminal's illustrious footsteps.
cabernet 0
Idiot! YDI.
Lythiaren 8
That's what you get for betraying her trust, moron.
fckaduck 0
Umm, that was pretty suspicioius, fucktard. YDI.
lynnbunny 0
That's really stupid to txt your mom that and then throw a party that night. Wowwww
FoundManyLemons 0
It really WAS suspicious. And you suck. YDI.