Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started applauding and said, "$20 bucks for me! I knew you weren't gay!" Him and my other roommate had a bet. They are my best friends. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was leaving college when my yearlong roommate said that he "needed me inside him" before I left. Having just accepted that I’m gay, we had sex. Only later did I learn about the floor-wide bet about me being gay. I still don’t know if my roommate fucked me for fun or for 5 cases of beer. FML
Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, my roommate's girlfriend came to visit for a couple of days, and we fucked behind his back. My roommate told me he just tested positive for syphilis. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad, which is one of my roommate's names, when I came. Now her and her friends think I'm gay, and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML
Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, my friend with benefits texted me to say that his roommate had heard us getting it on, and had gone on to nickname me 'Giggles'. FML
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Top comments
lowercasename 0
That's hilarious At least you were having sex though, so I wouldn't fret it too much
Shadowflames420 0
LoL. Was she hot? Cause you should get brownie points for porking a hottie when your friends think your gay.
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Comments (105)
PonTiFeX 0
Was probably a joke lmao. Either way that's still pretty funny. Congrats to you for proving them wrong.
patrickhb 0
hahaha #25 - looks like this guy's got that technique sorted.
Gringo_fml 0
What class.
sleepless15_p 0
At least one of them was sure you were straight.
RandomIdiot 3
you should slap your friends with your purse ! that'll teach 'm
shorgenfunkel 0
#30: I meant that that would be cause for FMLation even before this incident.
MrRecon72 0
You my good man, are screwed if you hang out with those guys
Kellayy 0
good job :)
ideclarewar 0
Have you ever heard of a joke? Quit your bitching and man up.
Yousapp 0
Dude, you were getting laid and your friends got to witness the greatness. Leat they didn't both think you were gay