Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started applauding and said, "$20 bucks for me! I knew you weren't gay!" Him and my other roommate had a bet. They are my best friends. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was leaving college when my yearlong roommate said that he "needed me inside him" before I left. Having just accepted that I’m gay, we had sex. Only later did I learn about the floor-wide bet about me being gay. I still don’t know if my roommate fucked me for fun or for 5 cases of beer. FML
Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, my roommate's girlfriend came to visit for a couple of days, and we fucked behind his back. My roommate told me he just tested positive for syphilis. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad, which is one of my roommate's names, when I came. Now her and her friends think I'm gay, and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML
Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, my friend with benefits texted me to say that his roommate had heard us getting it on, and had gone on to nickname me 'Giggles'. FML
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Top comments
lowercasename 0
That's hilarious At least you were having sex though, so I wouldn't fret it too much
Shadowflames420 0
LoL. Was she hot? Cause you should get brownie points for porking a hottie when your friends think your gay.
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Comments (105)
tuba_fml 0
At least one of your best friends knows you..
patrickhb 0
Okay, to explain the 'gay' offence - if your two best friends think you're gay, cnances are you seem gay to most people. Including members of the opposite sex. Which means, you're essentially 'off limits'. Obviously, this story proves that there exceptions. But generally, for someone's love/sex life, it's not good to be thought of as gay if you're not. Why are they not his friends? It's not their fault if he seems gay to them.
keyairia 0
yeahhhh. dude don't take it too seriously. it's all good fun. lmao. i mean, i don't think you should stop being friends cause that's just how guys are. :]
bluecoconuts 0
That was prime time for a joke... Something along the lines of "You should probably only get 10 dollars" with a wink...
zargon 1
@#22: Trust me, if you know how to work it, a minor gay vibe can be a very useful tool....
Jasper_fml 0
i like them.
dsous72 0
Bahahahahahahahahahahaha even tough they are dicks for making a bet about you being gay at least you know you have tolerant friends straight or gay they don't care
Program_fml 0
Girl from stats class? If she enjoys it, then she's retarded. Drop that girl in a heartbeat; stats is the biggest, most bull-shittiest waste of time in history.
shorgenfunkel 0
The real FML here might be that his roommates are his best friends.
mrcarmine 0
hahaha way to go!!! congrats! and #29, no shit, sherlock, that's what OP said.