Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML
Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML
Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
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Top comments
shananigans 0
Please please give us the link to that video!!
breenarae25 0
who said he was recording?
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Comments (44)
strata8 0
YDI for using 'proceeded'. Just kidding, but it's seriously overused and it's getting extremely annoying. There are so many other alternatives out there. Even using 'then' would have been better. On another note, why do the mods keep changing the FMLs? I've noticed that anything with 'sex' in it gets changed to 'fooling around'. They DO NOT mean the same thing in normal context.
sarcdude 3
http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/4304989 "I was having sex with"
slyace 9
Didnt this post say something different?
FerrariCake 2
That's a smart dog. Maybe he quiero-ed too much Taco Bell.
amatayo 0
Yeah that sux but the real fml is mine, having to read these wack fml's
SrsBusinesss 0
INCEST
Emperor_Jim 0
Animals aren't intelligent. Your dog doesn't "like" either of you.
Dave_the_pyro 0
It's not that Animals aren't intelligent. Its just they don't share the same Emotions we do, such as liking someone. If an Animal seemed to like you more, a lot of the time it will be due to them seeing you as the person who feeds them the most.
Soulathyia 0
#42 owns this FML
COBRAMORPH 0
At least he didnt hump you.
buisterr 0
In some cultures, dog vomiting all over you shows a sign of affection in the relationship between a dog and its owner. Just kidding. FYL.
123ilovejustinb 12
Oh I thought it said playful night with my brother. I'm like WTF