Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Today, while walking home with my girlfriend we decided to take a shortcut in the woods. After hearing a huge noise, she pushed me and ran. FML
Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML
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Top comments
Muhfin 0
Did we really need to know about talking to your gf about having kids??? FYL for being a dork
glasswater 0
This is a) not an FML and b) horribly written and pretty much unintelligible. But from what I can deduce, you can't figure out revolving doors, which is sad. Don't think about having children again until you can figure out how to enter and exit a building.
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Comments (90)
minenotyours 0
bahahaha! that's SO something I would do! lol actually I have... *blushes*
captainamerica50 0
Am I the only one who wondered why the topic of the conversation was even mentioned in this FML?
captainamerica50 0
Oh sorry just read the other comments, I was not the only one who wondered.
Serlenia 3
Aw, I think that's funny. I'd be worried if guys didn't have their moments of sqeaky screams. My friend does that all the time just to make us laugh. So it's nothing to be ashamed of. Yes it was embaressing but it's over and will be a good story for the future. Hopefully she just laughed and thought you were a dork and didn't think that because of that moment that you weren't good enough for her, because that would be stupid.
jakeidk 0
I'm glad you have a good spirit about all this negitive crap ppl are saying. and first is just about bragging someone got first comment and OP is you but I don't know what it stands for. I applaud you for you positive thinking and I thought this was a funny FML
Spac3Ghost 0
lol thanks =) it doesnt bother me =) they not wasting my time typing up rude comments right? =) haha it should even be an FML for them =) "today i wasted 3 minutes typing up a complaint about a complaint to......... someone who probably wont give a shit?" lol, was just trying to give people a good laugh =) sure i looked like a toss but most people laughed =) its good to laugh, but i suppose im not a very good story teller =) (i admit) and thanks =) lol at first (zero life)
EffYoLife 14
this is the worst post ive ever seen on here. wtf is the point of it?
babyareyoudownn 0
uhhhhhhh i have no clue what this is about. how did this even get approved?! oh and im number 69 (:
hellmoto28 0
Well he wont be having children anytime soon now.
BurnIt2TheGround 0
thank you for doing this!! this world is a better place without your continued genetics in it
wethequeens123 1
it's an fml because his girlfriend and him were talking about having kids and right when she was talking about it he ran away from her screaming making it look like he was screaming and running because he didn't want kids
chantellesmith 0
LOL! So true..