Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out how acidic some of the chemicals I work with are. After a chemical shower, minor burns, and having to throw away my clothes due to a biohazard, I had the pleasure of running across the parking lot to my car, wearing only a lab coat around my waist. FML
Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I purposefully spilt my 44oz. cup of water on myself at work, because spending the rest of the day in soaking wet pants was less embarrassing than letting people know I'd pissed myself. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
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Top comments
fuzzyface73 2
Yeah, women just don't understand shrinkage.
RiverRelic 0
You have a pretty valid complaint to make to HR. Of course, you then have to keep reliving the humiliation but that was pretty unprofessional on her part. (You may also have misinterpretted her laughter. Was it from nervousness? Some people do that. )
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Comments (220)
ThatDemonKid 0
lol was it really that small? XD
Carbonkid 0
Don't worry... happens to the best of us. Although it burned some neat holes in my pants!
survivalism 0
Why didn't you just turn the other way?
whiteright69_fml 1
H e wanted to show off.....
RiverRelic 0
You have a pretty valid complaint to make to HR. Of course, you then have to keep reliving the humiliation but that was pretty unprofessional on her part. (You may also have misinterpretted her laughter. Was it from nervousness? Some people do that. )
Megasadface 0
Dude, don't even stress. I said it somewhere else here before, but a guys flaccid penis has no relation to when he's hard. You could have a 2 inch dick when you're soft, but you can be like 7 inches when you're hard, so don't let some insensitive, immature coworker get you down.
cradle6 13
And as someone else mentioned, emergency showers are pretty damn cold.
armyofficerwife 0
Amen
friedpwnadge 25
That's actually exactly how I am too. Don't let flaccid fool your preference, looks are deceiving.
fxdxhk90 0
That's really sucks. I can't remember how many times acid was spilled on my hands in chem class. But your lauging co worker was probably salt in the wounds, huh.
toodles54321 0
21st!!!!
faildood 0
#9 is win
tWitt3rBuG 0
Her turn will come some day. What an idiot! Sorry dude... Sounds like you work with a bunch o idiots coz it seems that no one even tried to assist u?
Kgirl2cute 6
spill acid on yourself, take off your clothes, use the emergency shower and wash it off. that's emergency procedure. what were the coworkers supposed to do? grab some sponges?
kc2_fml 0
because it was soo small?
shireman97 6
No because it was so big it reminded her of a horse.....