Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss told me to sort and file all the paperwork he'd been randomly shoving into boxes since 2010. Apparently we're being audited, so he expects me to do eight years of filing in two weeks. There's enough paper to fully stock a large public library. Two weeks my ass. FML
Today, my boss dropped a highly important and dense report on my desk that had to be finished by the end of the day. After the initial panic attack and hours of scrupulous work, I finished. She then asked me to pick up the revised copy, where my name was replaced with hers. FML
Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML
Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML
Today, by request from my new boss, I came into work over an hour early to finish some backed-up filing. This seemed like a great opportunity to earn some extra overtime pay. After spending an hour and half filing, I realized I hadn't clocked in for the day. FML
Today, within the span of one day, the owner of the business I work at said I could write "Technical & Compliance Manager" on paperwork where I was the approver for engineered compliance of product regulatory records, but also that I was "basically just a secretary." FML
Today, the boss's arrogant son thought it necessary to demonstrate how to use a hole punch while explaining slowly how he wanted things punched. I have worked admin for years, and I'm the contracts admin, not his PA. FML
Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML
Today, I accidentally stumbled on a method of getting my job done in about a third of the time, so my boss made it mandatory for all employees. Unfortunately, my coworkers now can't slack off pretending jobs take 2-3 hours, and their constant petty revenge bullying is driving me mad. FML
Today, I discovered a large number of errors at my new job, wrote them down, and took them to my boss. Later, a coworker had a shout at me, because he was "saving them" so he could drip feed them to the boss, and look like he was always catching mistakes. FML
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Top comments
lex1459 38
I bet that bothers you a hole punch.
deidradanielle 20
Sounds like they just don't want to look bad since you do your work like your supposed to and finish it in a timely manner.
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Comments (49)
tdawg91 17
So they obviously need someone fast and organised, are you really that upset that they chose you? Keep the work up and you'll get more responsibility to throw down on your resume ;)
Jinxsie 27
"So, it says on your resume that you were a hole puncher at your last job? We need more qualified people like you. You're hired!"
smokecloud_ 37
It's the same thing I keep telling our best food runner at the restaurant I work at who wants to be a server: Stop being so damn good at your job.
voltroz 18
all on-site IT personnel takes forever to fix a minor problem because they are paid by the hour
abNormal62 23
Welcome to the corporate world my friend. The land where being competent, hardworking and organized results in you been given even more but not always meaningful work, in order to not make your corporate drone counterparts look bad in comparison.
Crazyjohnb 23
absolutely.
Invictus_Anima 5
Time management. Not only does it mean not working too slow, but not working too fast as well. You just have to find your balance OP and you'll do just fine. Good luck!
Dick_diamond 22
That's what you get for being too efficient
Abhinow 7
take some money bills out of ur boss' wallet, punch them well nd put them back. that shud end this work .. nd this job too!
mistress_paz 30
At least they didn't cut your hours. Finish this project then get even more responsibilities. Also focus on accuracy if you're finishing fast...double and triple check your documentation.
laden_swallow09 35
What… in the hell…?
marring 19
As an efficient legal intern I feel your pain
Mr23 9
serves your right OP, for making your cow-orkers look bad in comparison. <smiley_face>