Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my boss told me to sort and file all the paperwork he'd been randomly shoving into boxes since 2010. Apparently we're being audited, so he expects me to do eight years of filing in two weeks. There's enough paper to fully stock a large public library. Two weeks my ass. FML
Today, my boss dropped a highly important and dense report on my desk that had to be finished by the end of the day. After the initial panic attack and hours of scrupulous work, I finished. She then asked me to pick up the revised copy, where my name was replaced with hers. FML
Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML
Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML
Today, by request from my new boss, I came into work over an hour early to finish some backed-up filing. This seemed like a great opportunity to earn some extra overtime pay. After spending an hour and half filing, I realized I hadn't clocked in for the day. FML
Today, within the span of one day, the owner of the business I work at said I could write "Technical & Compliance Manager" on paperwork where I was the approver for engineered compliance of product regulatory records, but also that I was "basically just a secretary." FML
Today, the boss's arrogant son thought it necessary to demonstrate how to use a hole punch while explaining slowly how he wanted things punched. I have worked admin for years, and I'm the contracts admin, not his PA. FML
Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML
Today, I accidentally stumbled on a method of getting my job done in about a third of the time, so my boss made it mandatory for all employees. Unfortunately, my coworkers now can't slack off pretending jobs take 2-3 hours, and their constant petty revenge bullying is driving me mad. FML
Today, I discovered a large number of errors at my new job, wrote them down, and took them to my boss. Later, a coworker had a shout at me, because he was "saving them" so he could drip feed them to the boss, and look like he was always catching mistakes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lex1459 38
I bet that bothers you a hole punch.
deidradanielle 20
Sounds like they just don't want to look bad since you do your work like your supposed to and finish it in a timely manner.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (49)
angeluscado 15
I feel your pain. I used to work in a high volume law firm, hours for support staff were about 35 hours/week, but the only person who worked that was the receptionist. It was expected and encouraged to work overtime to get all of the work done. I left that job, not the way I wanted to but my health and sanity thanks me for it, and got another one at a firm where the lawyer I'm working for has a busy practice. I find I'm keeping up with the work really well, probably because I'm used to drowning in it. They're giving me more now, but early on I was churning out the work really quickly, faster than they could give it to me. There are still lulls - like Thursdays when my boss goes golfing - and I use those days to clean.
UhHuhHoney 20
Well that better come with a raise
thelonelybiped 4
Zot?
quesok 22
It seems that once again the hare loses to the turtle
alex101676 8
Unfortunately, no good deed goes unpunished.
allyiscute1 22
Work slower(:
Taolan 23
Didn't you watch Futurama? So sayeth Bureaucrat no 1 - No Bureaucrat ever finishes early!
apitrix 24
I believe it may be time to start pacing yourself a little bit better, if not they will assume you can take more jobs Ontop of your job you already have!
msgrumpy 7
shredder?
ChaoSKinG86 7
After you have a job if it's not part of your duties they cannot change or modify your work load with out asking you first. You could sue it's against the law