Work: Today, I was fired. Not only was I fired with no warning, not...

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 14:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was fired. Not only was I fired with no warning, not only was my friend the one who fired me, but I was fired from the unpaid volunteering position I took to help her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 346

You deserved it 2 165

Work

Own it

BO Central

Stunlocked

By SingleSara. - 02/03/2010 06:07 - Canada

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 944

You deserved it 3 404

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 372

You deserved it 2 973

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 03:09 - United States

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 026

You deserved it 32 290

By Gemma - 03/11/2010 11:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 141

You deserved it 60 589

Bad boy

By feelgood - 29/07/2013 05:08 - United States

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 497

You deserved it 6 744

By anonymous - 21/05/2010 17:26 - United States

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 301

You deserved it 8 448

By kimhinesvoinea - 07/04/2013 12:07 - United States

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 411

You deserved it 43 567

By dontpeeonmenxtime - 29/12/2011 14:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 951

You deserved it 3 025

Gratitude walks

By Liam - 06/05/2021 02:01

Today, my girl called me a "brainless, insensitive prick" Why? Because I wanted to surprise her with flowers since she’s been on vacation for 3 weeks and I hadn’t seen her. She was badly sunburned. I’d bought sunflowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 791

You deserved it 4 358

By socreepedouticanteven - 27/10/2014 00:05 - United States - Procious

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 444

You deserved it 6 134

By Anonymous - 15/08/2013 19:04 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 557

You deserved it 66 497

By Kalaina - 25/10/2009 04:36 - France

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 466

You deserved it 2 508

By Photagrapher - 18/08/2010 04:09 - France

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 453

You deserved it 17 732

By omfgitburns - 06/01/2011 14:54

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 396

You deserved it 2 854

By Mark - 06/06/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 795

You deserved it 12 583

By Anonymous - 15/07/2019 18:00

Today, I realised the recruiter for the Navy lied to me. This shit ain't fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 304

By everfresh - 26/01/2011 10:38 - Finland

Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 118

You deserved it 3 805

By suckstobefat - 22/01/2012 06:10 - Canada

Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 670

You deserved it 7 195

By Inthedumps - 23/07/2014 00:51 - United States - Jerseyville

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 830

You deserved it 3 590

Egg IRL

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 05:01 - United States

Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 73

By Dat Stanky Mouf - 16/03/2013 21:52 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 193

You deserved it 3 588

By TanjinaRubbaiyat - 15/01/2010 08:49 - Bangladesh

Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 995

You deserved it 2 993

By lonelygirl - 14/02/2010 05:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 599

You deserved it 3 431

By Anonymous - 11/08/2011 17:58 - Vietnam

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 740

You deserved it 4 341

By biotch - 06/06/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, as a volunteer at the local daycare, I was with 3 and 4 year olds. They thought it would be funny to trip me and then jump on my back. I hit my elbow hard on the ground. A bunch of pre-schoolers beat me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 624

You deserved it 6 381

By Anoniem - 10/12/2018 17:30 - Netherlands

Today, my two co-workers got the promotion we were all working for. The reason they got the promotion and not me? My interview got cancelled because of a policy change, implemented that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 677

You deserved it 138

By Lyingg - 05/10/2011 20:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 217

You deserved it 38 781

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 186

You deserved it 4 240

Never enough

By Discostu80 - 06/06/2009 10:24 - Australia

Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered in my wifes' ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud, because I was embarrassing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 777

You deserved it 6 924

By Anonymous - 31/12/2012 02:45 - United States - Bethesda

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 478

You deserved it 5 520

By T-Bear - 07/10/2015 15:02 - United States - College Station

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 2 209

By Matt - 27/06/2010 18:54 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 764

You deserved it 9 902

By bellabreeze - 09/08/2012 03:29 - United States - Lebanon

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 050

You deserved it 3 339

By Bob - 11/04/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I finally bought the toy my two year old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I give him the present, and he starts playing with the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 689

You deserved it 9 754

By Charon - 09/10/2009 22:11 - United States

Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouts "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 304

You deserved it 3 813

By goodbye - 09/03/2009 00:45 - Canada

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 056

You deserved it 34 478

By RollieCollieUSA - 30/01/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 6 606

By scaredofcutouts - 10/10/2012 21:44 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 921

You deserved it 2 313

By lice - 28/03/2009 13:34 - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125 205

You deserved it 13 968

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

lui_pg 21

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 18:46

Now you can get a paid job, always look at the positive

WCARlover 34

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 18:45

luckily it wasn't something paid that you were fired from :D

WCARlover 34

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 18:45

luckily it wasn't something paid that you were fired from :D

krazy789 28

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 19:12

there were a lot of curves in this fml

incoherentrmblr 21

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 20:22

No real loss here, unless it was an internship to help you graduate...

Technastar 25

Send a private message

Friday 29 January 2016 7:16

Does anyone else think that this sounds exactly like what happened to Joey Tribbiani from "Friends"; when monica fired him to gain respect from the other waiters

lui_pg 21

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 18:46

Now you can get a paid job, always look at the positive

MegasaurusRex89 28

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 19:06

OP could already have a paying job. Volunteering somewhere doesn't prevent from also having an actual job.

Tejanoswhy 19

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 18:47

Time to find a better job

Phantom425 11

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 18:47

Just don't help your friend the next time, see if they like it.

krazyelliot 14

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 18:48

Man you won't even have anything to get "payback"

Irum_M 8

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 18:48

Well at least now you can try and find a better job.

lolszilla 14

Send a private message

Tuesday 19 January 2016 18:48

no worries OP, I'm sure you tried your best to help out. Your friend needs to appreciate or let you know kindly (not sure of OP's friend's tone) that your help is not needed.