Miscellaneous: Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other...

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 18:23 - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year-old man who only spoke Spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and I'd politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 516

You deserved it 2 646

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Lifeguard - 04/04/2009 19:03 - United States

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 536

You deserved it 4 496

STOP!

By lamelifeguard - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Morrison

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 047

You deserved it 4 461

By Anonymous - 30/11/2015 23:54 - Belgium - Gent

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 813

You deserved it 1 773

By "mbrider" - 12/08/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 878

You deserved it 268

By PsychoSarah - 06/04/2011 23:57 - United States

Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 656

You deserved it 7 253

Throw the book at him

By Jen - 30/04/2019 20:00

Today, I got fired from my job at a library for hitting an old man with a book. In my defence, I had asked him about a massive water stain on a book he'd returned. He told me it was his cum, wanted to know if it excited me and then tried to touch my boobs. Dirty old pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 223

You deserved it 277

Public freakout

By selfdefense - 12/10/2009 04:16 - United Kingdom

Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 667

You deserved it 2 566

By ilook12 - 24/06/2015 03:23 - United States - Paris

Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 955

You deserved it 2 177

Baywatched out

By Username - 01/09/2010 00:35 - France

Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 748

You deserved it 10 035

By Anonymous - 30/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 100

You deserved it 692

_Noon_ 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 23:00

FYL. How can they even believe that? :S

CDS09 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 23:01

This should be easy to disprove...push him for details, when it was, etc, he will probably slip up.

Comments

the_stereotype 0

Monday 7 September 2009 0:56

somehow...i doubt the two events were actually related. otherwise, you would have been fired THAT day

canucksrule88 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:14

now molest him!

Ritika 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:20

haha that was bad luck ha ha

remuslupin93 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:37

To be a lifeguard, the minimum age is 15. And you have to go through 30 hours of training.

remuslupin93 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:39

To be a lifeguard, the minimum age is 15. And you have to go through 30 hours of training.

sodahhhr 0

Monday 7 September 2009 2:01

Shout out to

F00tball_Playa 0

Monday 7 September 2009 2:17

http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/XRamirez805X go to this site and make an account plzzz!!!!!!!!!!!

ApocryphaNow 0

Monday 7 September 2009 2:22

i'm sort of surprised there isn't a "obviously this illegal immigrant is trying to take her lifeguarding job" comment yet.

blah123blah 0

Monday 7 September 2009 3:05

Stop masturbating with a jar of lard. Problem solved.

blah123blah 0

Monday 7 September 2009 3:07

Wrong post.

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Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 053

You deserved it 3 116

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 458

You deserved it 2 906

The Top

Today, when I visited my daughter's apartment that she moved into about 3 months ago, I found out that she buys new underwear every time she runs out instead of washing her dirty ones. Her dirty ones have their own special hamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 135

You deserved it 2 927

Today, I noticed that when my boyfriend is sick, his sex drive goes through the roof. Too bad his stamina plummets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 202

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 030

You deserved it 8 817

Today, my sister got her car insurance quote in the mail. You would think it would go way up after being charged with reckless driving. It went up $1 per month. My insurance went up $100 per month after I tapped someone's bumper a year ago. I wasn't even charged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 547

You deserved it 1 669

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 053

You deserved it 4 315

Today, my man said, "If you get more sore from your workouts than from having sex with me, I’m gonna cry!" Uhm… I do serious weight training, and in bed we both enjoy the missionary position, so… sorry for your ego, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 145