constipated
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Cape Coral, United States
Productivity
Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML
jess
Any excuse
Today, without any warning from my body whatsoever, I had to go to the bathroom at work to puke. I was then fired for being ‘drunk’ at work. I wasn’t drunk, just sick. FML
Sostupid
Canada
Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML
anon
United States
Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML
Wow
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
Anonymous
Brooklyn, United States
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
dck128
United States
Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML
Anonymous
Saint-laurent, Canada
Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML
Anonymous
Pushing the envelope
Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
Top comments
arioch_fml 20
So fake, Op you're full of shit.
mattyiscool123 26
What?
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Comments (23)
Fyrfytr1 5
No shit?
Zehir_fml 10
Were you sitting in the bathroom for hours on end and not doing work? If so, your employer had a valid reason to fire you. Constipation or not, doing that means you weren't doing your job. This FML needs more info imo.
Lalala579121 28
I like how this is quite literally the only serious comment on this FML.
pizza_princess 5
they could have also been fired for calling into work. maybe stuck on the toilet at home.
redlizzybeth 25
Well, that's a crappy situation to be in. It sounds like corporate might have wanted the shit to hit the proverbial fan and you were just so full of it you couldn't contribute. Come on now, in the business industry, we all know it is shit or get off the pot man. Ok, I am all out of puns.
logank013 20
What's your job? Lead for a Scat Porno?
squidley9 17
I feel like there's more to this story than OP is telling us
wickedgetz 30
that's pretty shitty
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Did you work as product control expert for exlax?
GIJoefan 6
WTF?! Lamest reason ever! I'd file a complaint about this.
zach055 23
Assuming you're in the US, firing you was a violation of the ADA. File a complaint with the EEOC.
False_Stupidity 42
You're not a rectal thermometer tester are you?