Today, I was feeling down so I thought I'd order a burger to cheer myself up. The website I ordered from featured Instagram pics of their customers. My ex and the guy she cheated on me with were front and center. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML
Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like I was on top of the world, until I got to work and I was demoted. Then I ordered Uber Eats for lunch, the driver was late and gave me the wrong meal. The worst part was when I got home and was dumped by my girlfriend via text. FML
Today, I was looking at an old post between my ex and me on Facebook. Everything I was reading was adorable. Just as I was reminiscing about the great relationship we had, I look to the right of the screen to see the girl he cheated on me with in "People you may know." Thanks Facebook. FML
Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML
Today, the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with posted pics of them kissing on Facebook, and tagged me in them. FML
Today, I fucked up by clicking on my ex's new partner's stories while deep-diving into their Instagram. Now they know I'm still lurking in the shadows of their social media because they can see who viewed their stories, and I can feel the judgment radiating through the screen. FML
Today, I pulled up my ex's socials so my girls and I could laugh at the gross fat chick he's dating now. I ended up crying because he looks so much happier with her than he was with me. FML
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Top comments
Donut_Wizard 23
Maybe you should go get ice cream instead. Because ice cream listens, ice cream understands.
ChromoTec 24
I love your Undertale-related username that fits with the theme. Way to go!
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Comments (12)
Donut_Wizard 23
Maybe you should go get ice cream instead. Because ice cream listens, ice cream understands.
Glowworm56 27
I guess you weren't a cheeseburger in paradise then.
XxDanno316xX 27
Keep your chin up mate! You're better off without a cheater. Karma will catch up to them :)
ChromoTec 24
I love your Undertale-related username that fits with the theme. Way to go!
RichardPencil 32
You’re using meat to cheer you up? Looks like that works for your ex-girlfriend, too, if you know what I mean;)
stumpygremlin 13
Well... this is in Stamford apparently. “Jerry Springer” films there. Might be an opportunity for an appearance.
thehaystackerine 20
who the **** orders a burger off a website?
julfunky 29
... People who online order?
Venom1999 19
If you've ever been to Shake Shack, ordering online is for the best.
thehaystackerine 20
who the **** orders a burger off a website?
Victoria Danielle Docherty Hogg 8
least you know they feed stray dogs
Lobby_Bee 18
Think of it this way, that photo reminds you how you got ride of that trash and how you're a better person.