Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some Cheez-Its I had in my room. After I'd enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Were you eating black chips? I think FML has taught me to never pick up "food" I dropped and eat it. Also, nice username.
chcagr 1
Once upon a time I was eating pizza while watching television. Out of the corner of my eye I see one lonely piece of sausage left in the box. I pick it up and eat it, of course I don't bother to look at it. It was a stink bug. It turns out that they don't just stink, they taste BAD as well. You can't just spit out the taste of a stink bug. Oh well, live and learn.
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Comments (90)
merena 0
I know the feeling. Been there done that.
abcdefgh_fml 0
yummyyy
Crunchy08 0
what kind of chips do u eat that look like ticks?
i6u9 0
Hmmmmmmm. They musta been Kettle Cooked. xP
Jincos 0
You fat ****!
Goob_the_dude 0
YDI for being a fatty
bzlnv8 0
it sucks to b t trash, BS by the way.
TheDirtyBurger 0
thats ******* custy...
g00nie 0
I'm calling fake on this one. Aren't ticks like really tiny? And besides, why would you want to eat a teeny tiny crumb of a chip?
mitzi_fml 0
Ticks are about the size of a potentially flavour-packed chip crumb.
conartist66 0
true that
mikyroxsox 0
eww thats so grosssss like how can u think a tick is a chip????
_adrenaline 0
Were you that hungry?? Lmao.