Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there was a gas leak at work. We called the fire department, who advised us to evacuate the building. We called our manager to let her know, and her response was "Oh, don’t do that." My boss would rather let us die of carbon monoxide exposure than lose out on 3 hours of work. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm, and cause cancer. FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
Today, while sitting next to my mom at a restaurant, she told me to stop moving and making so much noise because, "It's distracting." The noise I was making was me breathing. I'm not even allowed to breathe. Guess I'll die. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
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Top comments
flipcrazy 0
You laugh now but in a week or two when you grow that third arm and eye, you're gonna be looking real foolish.
Dinger1992 3
You should tell her there's radiation everywhere so she shouldn't breath anymore. That'll solve your problem
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Comments (96)
rainbowteehee 6
Um a lot of people do that._. Ur boss is not an "idiot"
SoultheWolf 19
Just because a lot of people do that doesn't make it any less moronic. Radiation is absorbed through the body, it isn't breathed in. So holding her breath will do her no good in a situation like this.
Bloobloke 12
75, you seem offended. I bet you're one of the people who does this.
jwb8711 13
I have worked on more cell sites than she has probably ever seen, and besides the third arm and the cancer life is great!! No but seriously your boss is an idiot.
Dracoboxer357 36
4- O.o Your ninja skills are so advanced, you use farts as a radioactive weapon? This you must email me, share your scary ass secrets, Dangerous One! ;P
goose12321 11
So if she went to Chernobyl, does she think she'll be safe as long as she holds her breath/brings an oxygen tank of clean air?
MischievousLoki 6
Everything pretty much has radiation...Even bananas have very little radiation.
MrT302 4
It is possible to breathe in radiation in the form of alpha and beta particles. Although research has not shown cellular communications towers to cause any damage to people, some believe that a large enough quantity of gamma rays, such as what turned world renowned physicist Bruce Banner into the Hulk, could possibly lead to a genetic mutation causing people to mutate into super mutants or cause the evolutionary cycle to speed up we would turn into a civilization of highly advanced philosopher/ warrior-monks who travel the cosmos on interstellar solar sails and light wavelength receptors that could power Shaw-Fukijawa warp drives sending us to the edge of the universe to study the spurn waves originally created during the big bang that hold the key to understanding what the true meaning of life, love, and the pursuit of 59 cent taco tuesdays is all about So next time you pass a cell phone tower or a nuclear electric power facility, feel free to breathe in the air, you may be doing man kind a favor.(All rights to use this story line in any film, play, video games or television production are reserved and is under protection by the US patent office #6196-91179-2041. Anyone who wishes to discuss a media production may contact my lawyer at the law offices of John C. Marti)
CaptainBlack 18
what on earth
onlychildFTW 34
Haha that's gross. I'd e opening some windows pretty quick.
Janice_Ian 13
I work for a woman who, upon finding out I am vegan, asked me whether I eat plants. Taking orders from a moron? I definitely know that feel.
88vivera 9
She's stupid
workout1 5
Fail