Kids: Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of...

By Mommy - 26/06/2011 20:47 - United States

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 471

You deserved it 28 189

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Same thing different taste

By John - 22/08/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 369

You deserved it 57 952

AITA?

By Kathryn - 13/08/2011 10:31 - Belgium

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident, then one of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "ASSHOLE!" afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 402

You deserved it 41 158

By Anonymous - 15/07/2013 03:40 - United States - Odenton

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 984

You deserved it 7 180

The Thin White Duke

By DJ Clitter - 16/04/2012 19:35 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my daughter when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 101

You deserved it 33 558

Denial

By Anonymous - 19/05/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I was driving in my very own car that I bought and paid for myself, when I stopped at a stop light. Then I noticed the truck in front of me turn on his reverse lights. I honked desperately. He hits me, looks out the window and says, "I see no damage" and drives away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 446

You deserved it 3 735

By Anonymous - 15/11/2014 15:23 - Australia

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 392

You deserved it 8 493

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 20:22 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 290

You deserved it 9 373

By k…… - 09/06/2012 21:35 - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 555

You deserved it 64 547

By Tom Ali - 10/01/2012 20:50 - United States

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 211

You deserved it 65 123

Before you get mad…

By Anonyme - 05/12/2018 03:30 - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, my wife came home and said, "Before you go into the garage, let me tell you what happened…" She was stopped at a traffic light and when it turned green, she stepped on the gas, but the truck in front of her didn't. The grill was smashed and the car has a 3-inch hole in the bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 567

You deserved it 246

JustinThunder 8

Monday 27 June 2011 0:34

******' Asshole?

rebekahah 7

Monday 27 June 2011 4:36

77- you misspelled *smart. Ironic?

Comments

MyS3lf 24

Monday 27 June 2011 17:40

That made me LOL. I didn't read all the previous comments, but I'm sure there's some pretty uptight people who got all offended and up in arms over this, but I thought it was cute. As much as I nag, my younger brothers (who don't have any children) sometimes forget and let some curse words slip around my daughter. As a result, we were riding with my (very laid back) Grandparents one day, and we came up to a stop light and my daughter all of a sudden just says "Oh F**K!". We all laughed quietly, and I did explain to her that she's not allowed to use bad words like that, but it was still funny.

cg1989_fml 0

Monday 27 June 2011 17:57

it's developmentally impossible for a one year old to say that entire phrase they are barely learning to walk and say single words. this is totally fake

poohbird 0

Monday 27 June 2011 18:06

that is too funny!

seeunexttuesdays 6

Monday 27 June 2011 18:11

be happy she didn't repeat EXACTLY what you said! that woulda been a funnier FML though..

The_Great_Zucchi 15

Monday 27 June 2011 19:58

That happened to me when my oldest was about 3: I was driving and after something happened on the road I heard from the back "Daddy, why is that lady a c*nt?"

seeunexttuesdays 6

Saturday 2 July 2011 4:25

hahahahaha!! oh my god that's not a good thing for your kid but that's kinda funny sorry xD

Ef17 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:45

I dont get it ...

deeloveee 4

Monday 27 June 2011 19:56

To #190, you don't deserve to "get it" apparently.

stevechancho 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:53

I beleive she said "frickin a-hole".

lazy_girl 12

Monday 27 June 2011 21:57

LOL my dad did the same thing when my sister was little. He got cut off in traffic and said "for **** sakes!" She came home and asked my mom "What's puck-steaks?" hahahahah