By John W. - 12/10/2011 12:37 - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 633
You deserved it 46 999

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xMeganMayhem 6

Way to go, douche bag.

Jk530 1

I agree with your son.


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The parent needs a spanking

Marcella1016 31

Kid has a nice sense of humor lol

Rubbish. My parents have sworn in front of me as a kid, and then told me not to use such language. I still don't swear around them even though I'm 18. :| FYL OP

ShroomsOnAcid 16

I sure hope you're joking. Swearing around a kid is by no means by itself going to turn it into a bad apple. And even if the kid grows up to swear, what's so bad about that? All they need to know is when not to swear, such as in school, around teachers or other authority. If your kid can't understand that some things are ok to do in some situations, but not accepted in others, you've got bigger problems. Who's to say they won't have trouble getting why they can't shit in public?

ImFrackinBored 13

That kid is awesome.

LiyIa_fml 8

I agree with 18.

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That little boy is good..

#18 and those that agree with u obviously don't have any kids or are horrible parents that feel guilty so they want to use this detrimental way of thinking to excuse bringing more bastards/future scumbags into this world.

Jammy01jams 2

I use fuck every sentence pretty much. But I don't yell fuck right beside a teacher or a parent. Beside customers at work also. But fuck it around friends I can swear when I want where I want , and I don't give a shit who's around in public. My parents don even think I swear that's how good I am at limiting it around certain places.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

I feel sorry for your kids/future kids 52. It's almost contradictory to not swear around your kids if you don't want them to do it, because it's a well documented fact that they love the thrill of something new, especially if it's forbidden to them. They will eventually come accross these words, and will probably feel cool using them.There's a reason kids don't write something like "socks" on the bathroom wall and giggle.

The child shall now begin exacting revenge on OP for bottle feeding him while a perfectly good pair of breasts were within arms length... May god have mercy on your soul...

#52 EVERY person and kid curses. Cursing is a normal thing and it's actually proven to calm you down. I also guess this means your parents fail cause you're cursing to. Thus your argument is invalid. Now good night

amayasoma 19

52- I cuss like a sailor and so do a lot of people I know, that doesn't make us bad people. It makes us human. It's not the parents fault if the kid starts cussing. If they do it around their parents job to discipline them to stop. If the person is a scumbag they were born that way. Cussing has nothing to do with it. If they are a bastard, it's not their fault they don't know their father. That's the true meaning of that word.

hookumsnivy 6

@56: So you're on those guys in public cursing up a storm around little kids. Good job!

my parents never cursed around me and was strictly against it but the kids I've been around curse so much I'm use to it. I just think of cursing as another sound coming out of your mouth, I don't see what's wrong with a sound

I know it's bad to kick people when their down. But #52 is also rockin the "forever alone" troll face

Jammy01jams 2

80 - no problem! If they don't get used to it eventually they never will. I hate sheltered children. Fuck is not a bad word, it is a way of expressing anger or distaste. If you think otherwise, well the go fuck yourself. Everyone swears and the sooner people stop taking words like retard and making them vulgar, the sooner we can have appropriate conversations with everyone.

Jammy01jams 2

92- cussing is a word like naughty used to explain bad things to children. Vulgarity is in fact not like weed for 3rd graders. And to add on top of that, despite me not being a smoker weed is very good and should not be illegal.

punkin_26 16

"Okay Johnny, you can say douche bag just not in front of your mother. Here's 5 bucks- have a good day in school Son." Just Kidding #18-that's actually a really good point.

Using the words "douche bag" are very minor "bad words", honestly its not that bad at all, OP this should only be considered an FML if you used the words "fucking asshole" and your child called you that.

59 oh dont be i am one oh the few parents bringing respectful and intelligent people into the world..and again your statements sound like it's coming from someone who has NO idea what PARENTING is and/or should be. Do society and favor and do some shrooms with sterile-inducing chemicals laced in them. That is all.

For those of you idiots claiming known facts prove cursing is beneficial in some way..please go back to school and learn more on the subject before you throw in such ridiculous bs. If you cuss around a child they will learn the unintelligent way of communicating and unless you are an uneducated moron* you should want your kids to speak in a way that benefits society. For the idiot that pointed out my use of profanity last time i checked writing something is not the same as cussing in front of a child. Served.

Anaxes 5

#133 - I haven't commented in ages and my internet is capped, but the supreme idiocy of your view has inspired me to put you in your place, like a dog. Firstly, "speak in a way that benefits society"? How in the nine hells does speaking without profanity "benefit" society? Honestly now, are you that ignorant/inbred that you think that omitting the F-word from someone's language will result in someone inventing a cure for cancer/stupidity? Secondly, "the few parents bringing respectful and intelligent people into the world"? Sorry whore, just because you don't swear doesn't mean your children will respect everyone and be avatars of nobility. Perhaps it is you that should be sterilised. Why even stop there? Why not systematically kill everyone who could claim to share your bloodline and then yourself, that way you can actually tell people that you are helping to bring intelligent people into the world. Get the fuck (I use this out of spite, but if I left out these brackets you wouldn't notice) out of my internet. Served.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

133 I see part of your point, but you are still wrong. I can understand the desire to teach children more intelligent ways to express themselves, but simply having swear words in their vocabulary won't determine whether they will prefer them over more sophisticated insults. Again, it depends on the nature of the kid.

Marcella1016 31

139 wins

You'll slip, we all do. And using "fuck" every sentences just makes you sound very unintelligent.

No fun douchebag

#133- do you have any idea how many children are on this site(app) who may have noticed your use of profanity, in this case writing something is the same as cussing in front of a child. Also my parents swear all the time, so do all my friends and siblings, I go to the best (scores/college acceptance rate/legit stuff) school (not college) in California, are we all unintelligent morons? And I don't ever swear.

Too late, Douchebag...

Look some one who does not know what there talking about

Nice one. Lead by example?

That's when the old do as I say not as I do saying kicks in.

It's going to be even better when mommy has to explain to teacher. "So-- we have a new word..."

Hit a child save a life, ruin a life smack urself.

I said jerk to my mom she smacked me and I never said anything bad again.

Monkey see, monkey do

Omg. Someone made a rage comic on this.

SadSadKidd 1

So.... Are you a.... Douche Bag???

HowAreYouToday 34

Geesh. Your son is a douche bag

ICONicBella 0

Bitch. Don't talk like that about a kid!

yety135 3

Yea man don't say that shit about a kid really your and ass

HowAreYouToday 34

Listen, newbies. Welcome the wonderful land of "the Internet". Now I know, I know. You have lived your little shut in lives not knowing sarcasm, or irony, or any other type of language us "internet folk" use, so let just say this: iconicbitch, I read your profile and your pathetic misuse of grammar makes me want to go all caps lock on your ass, and other newbie who didn't even upload any profile deets, if your gonna be anonymous, be at least amusing. Just a tip. And no, I'm not a superhero, I'm just like all of you. Thank you and Troll out!

haha oh man! This made my day :) lol

Grammar Nazis! Transform and troll out!

At least she hates twilight

Badab1ng 5

Your son is gifted and probably handsome. Spicy.

Wtf you smoking??

Why the hell would u assume he's handsome?? Tad bit weird buddy.

Badab1ng 5

Please go commit self fuckery

Jk530 1

I agree with your son.

xMeganMayhem 6

Way to go, douche bag.

Sigh...such fast learners. *sniff* that's my boy

crackz12 10

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I still get smacked in the face for swearing =/. It isn't "proper", lol.

Child abuse morons...

47 - If they deserve the ass whipping it ain't child abuse. Save that CPS crap for another time.

Jennyboo5797 4

#8 would you really smack your kid for "Disrespecting" you by using a word they learned two seconds ago? They don't even know what the word means! I hope you're not so closed minded with your kids, or future kids.

#58 - I agree with you in general, although I have to say that the media blames pretty much everything *but* the parents when kids are bad (video games, rap , television, Dungeons & Dragons, rock and roll, Swing Dancing, depending on which decade you are talking about). If the media *did* blame parents when their kids ended up being psychos, perhaps more parents would start actually raising their kids properly. #71 - I definitely would (and have), especially when the context (e.g. "Too late, douche bag") shows that the kid damn well knows it is offensive and disrespectful. If the kid simply repeats a word without obvious knowledge that it is a "bad word", you just tell them it is and not to say it again.

You don't even have to smack em usually you gotta have the right presence. I do that to my little cousin when he does something bad, I get in this "imma kick your ass if you do/say that again" he gets the Louth face an apologizes. If the kid continues, then you smack em to let em know your not joking.

heyimallison 0

why take advice from a parent who can't spell the word 'again' ?

How bout somebody smacks you in the face instead?

crackz12 10

My parents beat me plenty of times and i know better than to disrespect them. And btw i didnt say beat the kid i just said smack him which he clearly deserves. Maybe if more parents were more strict on being disrespectful kids wouldnt be as bad. Half the fmls on this site involving children could be solved if the kids had some fear of punishment, and no tv doesnt always suffice. Also for the record i have always been extremely respectful to people in general to which i give my parents credit for...the right combinition of whippings and love make for a great child

Good luck explaining to him what it means. Awkward!!!

I think he knows what it means

Ah profanity. Now your child is ahead of the curve and is prepared to verbally stand his ground. Maybe he'll ask his teacher to put it on the next vocabulary test so he can show everyone up. Douche bag: what mommy or daddy scream at people like you when driving.

Nice 350z or 370z

TalkinSmack 6

Explain to ur kid what a real douche bag is and he'll probably not mention that word again :)