Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML
Today, I just got my windshield fixed due to a rock hitting it off the highway. Just one hour later on my way home, a large stick flew off the back of a landscaping truck. My windshield is cracked again. FML.
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddenly interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
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Top comments
Minna_fml 14
Check OPs name.
hopsinlove17 26
I read it as MILF O.O
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Comments (78)
j3ebrules 13
Omg wifey, chill. Most insurance companies fix that shit cheap or free. I personally pay 50 bucks a year so I don't have to worry about glass.
PhishloverA 14
That's when you say "Get out bitch you can walk!"
momo1972 3
Tell them to get the hell out and walk.
gardenwhipped3 14
If your wife freaks out over a windshield crack and your mother in law is egging the situation on... you should seriously do some quick math and determine if there are other major dramas in the queue and if you think you can handle them or if it is just a half-finished bridge and a very long fall.
Alex1901 6
May I suggest listening to Sherry Darling for suggestions on getting your Mother in Law out of the car.
shawnagreenbean1 9
**** mother in laws, they think they can just be stupid, irritating bitches because you're with their child.
mookiemookie01 24
Ditch the inlaw