Transportation: Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger...

By Aether - 03/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136 941

You deserved it 7 594

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 27/12/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 467

You deserved it 2 656

The gift

By bubblensuds1 - 28/10/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 787

You deserved it 3 097

Road rage gone feral

By 16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 328

You deserved it 4 845

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 872

You deserved it 61 035

By Anonymous - 24/02/2014 15:21 - United States

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 077

You deserved it 51 896

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 592

You deserved it 2 802

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 124

By Anonymous - 24/04/2014 15:35 - United Kingdom - Montrose

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 226

You deserved it 3 415

By Username - 13/05/2011 08:13

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 850

You deserved it 6 719

Emotional rollercoaster

By ehcanadianeh - 13/12/2015 20:04 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 724

You deserved it 12 070

PlasticShark 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:10

today's going to be sunny with light semen showers

Serial 2

Monday 4 May 2009 1:10

at least you weren't driving a convertible

Comments

strangersdk 0

Monday 4 May 2009 4:26

That really sucks. I would have road-raged his ass and driven up beside him and tossed something at that douche bag.

nom_nom_nom 0

Monday 4 May 2009 4:27

thats disgusting. Couldnt you take their license plate and complain? Idk.

musikkx3 0

Monday 4 May 2009 4:30

eww

mattmag 0

Monday 4 May 2009 4:40

At least you can track him down.

Fml37 0

Monday 4 May 2009 4:35

You should have chased that guy down and beat the **** out of him.

Fml37 0

Monday 4 May 2009 4:46

You should have followed him, and beat his ass

meleecow 0

Monday 4 May 2009 4:52

this is the best FML i have ever read... lol

kspy 0

Monday 4 May 2009 4:53

what the hell is with the whycindywhy urls? and ew that's effing gross.

greatbigumph 3

Monday 4 May 2009 5:08

Lol @ 15.

paperplanes2012 0

Monday 4 May 2009 5:10

I thought you weren't driving fast..

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The Top

Today, I was sick during the night and had to puke. I had no bucket or trashcan nearby, so I ended up puking on the floor. However, because it was so dark, I didn't notice my cat lying in the exact spot where I puked. She was not amused, giving me the mother of all death glares before she started puking herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 122

Today, I found my husband on a dating app and I was gonna kick his ass, until I realised that would mean admitting I’m on the same app, so I deleted mine but now I need to figure out a way of explaining how I know he’s still on it, so I can kick his ass. We have a twisted relationship, I know this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 2 420

The Top

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 292

You deserved it 3 690

Today, I went to buy some frozen yogurt. I filled up a cup and the cashier rung it up. The total price was $6.92. I only had $5 in my wallet. So I gave her the $5 bill and went to my car to get more money. Little did I know, there was no money in my car. So I drove off. Leaving the $5 behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 958

You deserved it 13 014

Today, my high point was still being able to recite all 151 generation one Pokémon in order, from memory. I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 618

Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 975

You deserved it 1 968

Today, I was driving home from school when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. My offer was rejected as she said, "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway. My driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 198

You deserved it 7 005

Today, the main cause of my recent boost in anxiety is in fact the amount of debt that going to a therapist in the first place has put me in. I guess he did help me find the main cause of my emotional issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 976

You deserved it 429