Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML
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Top comments
ChelseaXD 0
lmao! better straighten up(:
Ethos_fml 0
Wabaam!
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Comments (186)
perdix 31
Getting a education is OK, but you're never going get a man if you slouch! I hope your homework was in Sammich-Making.
Jokro_fml 0
hell yeah it was, in the ******* teacher :0
530boy 0
you look familiar.
chelsc 0
I tend to straighten my back too when theres fork stuck in it
Emmy_The_Great 2
Win.
cheech99 0
When ever he is out of posture throw a fork at him
polopony 0
I bet he throws forks at your mom, too. That mother forker
nerdsgetmehot 23
Is your dad The Blue Raja from Mystery Men? "I will fork-give you if you fork-get!"
polopony 0
Or maybe Op's dad is Martin Blank "I killed the President of Paraguay with a fork"
haitilover 0
lol
xeldawyn 14
Hahaha, your dad is awesome
meow97 0
Hahaha! The image I get in my head when reading this is priceless.
LuCanO 0
# 56 indeed, I really think this should get into the Illustrated FMLs.
yummycupcakegirl 0
u will have a hunch in your back then