Love: Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when...

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 057

You deserved it 3 228

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Same thing different taste

By hannahlorraine - 25/11/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 217

You deserved it 2 806

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 401

You deserved it 37 682

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 148

You deserved it 2 751

Do I know you?

By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 461

You deserved it 3 171

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 890

You deserved it 10 314

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 2 100

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 648

You deserved it 4 567

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 110

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 220

You deserved it 5 374

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 121

LezBiHonest 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:39

Theres always room for one more...

hashnasnne 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:40

god bless your mother

Comments

mrszane93 5

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:49

She wanted to join the party as the "cool mom".

BikeAllDay818 6

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:49

Your mom is awesome.

JoeLouisBomber 9

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:50

When i read this the mental image was too funny

BikeAllDay818 6

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:51

But only because that didn't happen to me. Lmao

BeefyQueef 5

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:54

That would be one hell of an awkward threesome

potatosrock 10

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:54

have revenge by throwing water balloons at them when they are cuddling

mrszane93 5

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:55

No! Who would do that with their mother? Gross.

DocBastard 38

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:57

Does anyone think the "threesome!!" jokes are in any way original? For ****'s sake people, let it die.

rhysfucker 24

Saturday 10 December 2011 1:01

I know! Just the mom and girlfriend works fine.

perdix 29

Saturday 10 December 2011 2:30

I never think they are original, but I always think they are funny!!

paynee 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 4:41

Hmm your profile seems pretty cocky and grammar nazi doc, although ur picture is cool, have to give ya that! (did u notice I didnt spell you or your or you're right? And that I commented on a persons profile picture? I really hope U did) Lol I was bored.. Needed to annoy someone :)